Update

 its been a while since I posted here. 

My kids and husband are well. The boy is not enjoying lockdown, but there’s not much to be done. 

I was diagnosed in June with cancer of the esophagus, stage IV. I’m determined to be terminal since it has spread to lymph nodes. However, the tumors are shrinking and the doctor cannot find the tumors behind my stomach or in my lymph nodes. I am not a candidate for surgery due to the lymph node spread  

I’m currently receiving chemo, but I haven’t lost all my hair!!

I’m on palliative care as long as I’m able, then will move on to hospice in my own home. 

I’m cancer free still from the breast cancer. 

This really sucks. It’s a blessing and a curse to know that death is near. 

It's official!!

Today my oncologist told me that after surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, that I am considered cancer free. AMEN!

It's been a very long 11 months. I am so happy to be done.

I am a cancer survivor!!!!

WOOHOO!!!

Chemo cancelled this week too...........

I had my chemo cancelled this week too. My numbers were too low. I didn't even feel bad, and the nurses said I didn't look bad at all, because they said last time, I looked ill.

Oh well. Life goes on. It just extends chemo into March now. I have plans for my month off, but now that may change.

I hope I do not have to cancel chemo again. I only have FOUR treatments left!

Chemo cancelled this week....

My chemo infusion was cancelled Tuesday due to a low White Blood count. To say I was disappointed is an understatement.

I spent Monday and Tuesday having a pity party for myself. I was miserable. Then I turned things around by Wednesday morning and the week has been good. I also went in for fluids Wednesday morning and that helped me feel better. I wasn't able to eat or drink much due to mouth and tongue sores, but that is under control now too.

I have plans in the spring. I need to get through chemo and radiation without too many more delays.

Cancer update...........

Each week on Monday, I go to the cancer clinic to have labs drawn for chemo on Tuesday. I also see the doctor. This Monday, he told me I was strong and that I was an outlier. Mostly because I feel pretty good going through this round of chemo and because I'm doing well.

I am glad I am doing well, and it's been a pleasant surprise that I am not flat on my back unable to function. I'm somewhere in between that and doing great.
I have off days, but I am mostly able to do my daily activities, chores, cooking, laundry. I am thankful for that every day.

Yesterdays infusion was my mid way point in this leg of my treatment. I am HALFWAY done with this round of chemo. Yes, I count down each week. It's just something that helps me.

I will have a month off in March. I have lots of plans, but I also still have doctor appointments. Many of them. But I've got my eyes on March!

That's my update for today.

Breast Cancer

I'm the one in eight women that are diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Lucky me.
I have DCIS Grade 2. The technical term is DCIS T2 N1 MO, Grade ll, Stage IB. The cancer was found in two of my four sentinel nodes. I will have to take a hormone pill for 5-10 years after I am done with radiation.

I went for my routine mammogram in July. The radiologist saw something and called me back for more views. This same scenario happened three years ago except the biopsy was benign. This time the biopsy was positive for breast cancer. So, I had surgery scheduled for August 23.  I went out to California for eleven days and it was wonderful. I made absolutely no decisions about anything at all. No responsibilities for 11 days!

I had surgery on August 23. I had a lumpectomy. The surgeon removed the cancer, but it was also in my lymph nodes. I also found out that I am allergic to the material they use in the stitches, so the surgeon cut all the stitches out and I had an open wound that needs to heal from the inside out. Four months later and it is still opened about an inch.

I started Chemotherapy in October. I had four cycles, two weeks apart of AC. AC (Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide). Also known as Red Devil. I've lost all the hair on my body. My doctor tried to tell me I could find a wig, but I told him I am not wearing a wig, and I haven't. I do wear a hat out because my head gets cold.

I am currently doing my second round of chemo. Paclitaxel. It hasn't been as hard on me as the AC was and it's every week for 12 weeks. I am on week four.

After I am finished with chemo, I will do 4-6 weeks of radiation daily. But I will have one month off and I will be traveling to California again during that month off.

My cancer was found early, no one could even feel the lump. I feel fortunate that it was caught early. I love all of my doctors, and especially the nurses at the cancer center. They are all wonderful.

It's been a while since I posted.

It's been a while, can't believe it's been a whole year. A lot has happened in this year.
I've been visiting California a couple times a year. My daughter lives there. It's nice to go out there and visit.

I still go to see my cousins in Maryland too, but missed a year recently.

My boy is in high school!! He was diagnosed with High functioning Autism. Now that we know that, I find it easier to understand him.

My girl is still in college, finishing up her RN.

My husband is doing well too.

My nephew and his wife had a baby in August!

I was diagnosed in July with Breast cancer and am dealing with that. I'll make a new post about that though.

Other than that, not much is new.

October reflections.........

This is such a beautiful time of year. It's my favorite time of year, cool crisp mornings, the beautiful colors of the leaves.

This weekend is MEA weekend. The kids are off from school Thursday and Friday. When I was young, that meant that my mom and I traveled to Illinois to see my Grandma. She lived in a tiny, tiny home, but it was her home and I loved it. I loved traveling down there because the trees were so pretty. My mom and I would stop halfway and eat lunch, then make it to grandma's by mid afternoon.

When I had my daughter I stopped going for a while, then the three of us started going to Grandma's. It was still as special as always.  Unfortunately my son never got the chance to visit Great Grandma's house.

While we were down there, my moms cousin would bring us boxes of chocolates for Sweetest Day. I had never heard of it until he started bringing chocolates when we were there!

Grandma's house was always such a special place to be. There were a couple family reunions there.

Sometimes it's fun to have the memories, and to think about the visits.

A year later............

Well, it's been a year now that my mom has died. Still so much to do. I miss her everyday.
I closed out her estate on Saturday. That is done now, and I am thankful for that.
I still have half a garage of her belongings to go through. I will do that this spring and summer. My
daughter will help me with that. But it's still hard to go through her belongings. I feel as though I am
intruding on her privacy. It makes me sad.

My arm is almost fully healed. It still hurts sometimes.
My husbands knees are doing well!
My boy is doing well in his new school.
My daughter is doing well.

An update

I haven't posted for so long. I'm still so sad about my mom. It's been almost a year. Her belongings take up half of my garage. My daughter and I tried to sort through her stuff, but it was too hard, maybe this summer I'll be able to do it.

My husband had both his knees replaced in December. He had them done one week apart. He is back to work this week!! He's done very well with the recovery.

In between his surgeries, I broke my arm. It was just awful. We both felt helpless to help eachother. My daughter came out for a short visit and she brought my son back to her place for a visit over Christmas time.

My daughter had surgery in December too!! She is finally feeling better and is back in school. I recently went to visit her and had a wonderful time.

My son has changed schools. He is going to a public school. He went through months of testing and there are services he needs that his private school couldn't accommodate. He's adjusted well, he's been there about a month. He will be a teenager on March 4th! Hard to believe.

I couldn't crochet for 5 long weeks, but I've been able to pick it back up with only occasional pain. But my arm is not fully healed yet. It will come. I can finally use my hand for most things now. I have a lot of crochet to post, but I'll do that later!

Jacob Wetterling

 I posted about Jacob Wetterling in the past. The other post is linked below.

Today, there is news that at long last,  Jacob has been located and identified through his dental records.

My heart aches for his family.  Not knowing all these years where Jacob was, or what happened to him.

Now they have answers. And hopefully they will have closure.

I am glad we all know now.

http://pj-countryroads.blogspot.com/search?q=jacob+wetterling

Grief..................

My sweet mom died on April 24, 2016. I am so sad. Losing a dad is hard but losing a mom is a

million times harder.  

It's just the most awful thing I have ever been through. Going through her stuff feels like I am invading 

her privacy and snooping. It's a horrible feeling.

Mom had not been well for a while, and I brought her to the Dr. on a Wednesday for results of an echo

on her heart. The cardiologist sent her right to the hospital. The wonderful doctors got her fixed up in 

the hospital, but really, it was only a band aid.  She had congestive heart failure and kidney failure.  The doctor told me and one of my brothers that she likely would not make it til her birthday in July.  

She wasn't ready to die right then anyway. She was sent to rehab to gain strength and she died in rehab. 

I was fortunate enough to be with her when she drew her last breath, and all of my siblings and sister-

in laws and nieces and nephews were able to visit with her.

I am just so sad.......

Word Cloud

Circle of shoes.........

These are the six pairs of handmade shoes I have. The top three were made for me and the bottom three are the pairs that I made!

SHOES!!!

These are my new purple shoes! I made them the first week of February. The class was supposed to be

held at Northhouse Folk School  but there were not enough students so it was cancelled. I traveled out

to New Hampshire to Cordwainer shoes to make these shoes.  I have taken two of the workshops at

Northhouse, and this was to be the third. I had such a good time at the shop. I was able to see all the

tools and equipment that are used in making shoes.  And I got to see the wall of leather. There were

just two students and it was very relaxing.

I wanted to make purple shoes and I did. I have a sweater to match these shoes perfectly.

Baby blankets.....

These are two blankets I made for my niece who is having a second baby girl any day!

The purple is made with Bernat Babys breath. It's a bulky yarn and it turned out beautifully.

The little purple blanket it made of fleece that I crocheted around the edge.

Blankets etc........

This is a scarf I made for my Great Niece Isabel. She is just two but she loves the blankets I crocheted

 for her. I made this with Red Heart yarn.

This Pink blanket is made for my friend Lisa, for a friend of her. I worked with Lisa at the VA for three

 years and taught her how to crochet. But she is busy so she asked me to make one for her. I made it

with Bernat baby yarn and it is so soft!!

Louie............

My  sweet Louie.

We lost him today. He hadn't been feeling well recently and was at the vet in early December. He took

antibiotics for three weeks and seemed to be feeling better.  A couple days ago I noticed he had

enlarged lymph nodes. 

Today he was struggling, not feeling well, vomiting and he had trouble breathing. Just out of it.

We brought him to the vet knowing it was likely the end of his time with us.

He was a loyal, loving companion.  He turned 13 years old in December.  He had a long and good life.

We will miss him!

TEN YEARS!!!

Today marks TEN YEARS since I quit smoking. So happy I quit!!

October baby blankets..............

These are blankets I made for a woman I know (Melanie) having her ninth baby. It's a girl!!

The very bottom blanket is made with Lion Brand Homespun and the color is Tulips. 

The light pink blanket is made with Bernat Baby Sport in pink. It's such a soft pink.

The next one is fleece with a crocheted edge. I make those for lovies for the babies.

Last, on top, are three all cotton wash cloths for the baby.