Forty years ago......................

Wow, just writing that out makes me feel old!!

Forty years ago, I spent the summer in New Jersey with my relatives. My sweet grandma, my great grandma and my aunt and a family friend drove out there and they all left me there and I flew home later in the summer. It was a definite summer to remember.

 I stayed with my Aunt that I have written about occasionally and my Uncle and cousins. It was a fabulous summer.  For July 4th, we went to the shore for fireworks and it was beautiful to see the fireworks over the ocean while sitting on the beach.

We did a lot that summer. My one cousin and I went to the Boys and Girls club often and met people there. There was a trampoline there.  I met a boy and I have stayed in touch with him all these years. Just recently, he sadly lost his son to a drug overdose. His only son. He is heartbroken and I am heartbroken for him. No parent should ever live to see the loss of a child.

My other cousin, who is like a sister to me, is the cousin I go visit each year. This year I went in the middle of May again.  We had a good visit.

I will always have fond memories of that summer and all the people I met. It was a special summer for me.

Mrs. Sophie Toes...

This is Sophie. I called her Sophie toes sometimes because she didn't like her toes being touched.

Sophie was originally my aunts dog. My aunt got Sophie from her neighbor that didn't want Sophie anymore. Sophie was about 6 months old when she went to my Aunts house. I have known Sophie all her life and so have my dogs.

In May of 2004, my Aunt died. I asked her husband if we could have the dogs, there were three of them. At that time he said no, but I let him know that if he ever didn't want the dogs, we would take them. He let us know in December that we could have the dogs. It was December 4th. My sweet husband drove from Minnesota to Maryland in a weekend to retrieve the dogs for me.

So, I always say Sophie was my Aunts dog, which she was, but she was actually my dog in the end. I had her for almost ten years. She surprised us with how well she behaved. We thought we would have issues with her, and she turned out to be a wonderful pet for our family.

Around August I noticed she was drinking a lot of water and brought her to the vet for a check. She had liver issues, so we put her on medicine and started her on a special food for dogs with liver issues. A couple of weeks ago I went to get her more food and spoke with one of the vet techs about Sophie. She wasn't getting any better, and she was actually doing a little worse. She was starting to retain water and she was starting to have problems breathing.

The vet called me the next day and we talked about Sophie, and options. One of them was to drain the fluid, giving Sophie more time, a week, a month, two months--who knows? Once you start draining, you have to keep draining. We talked about quality of life etc for Sophie. I reluctantly decided that Sophie needed to go to her final resting place.  She was 12 years old, and had a wonderful life. It wasn't fair to her to have to suffer just because I wanted her here still. I could she how bloated she was, and hear how difficult it was for her to breath.

She was still feisty and barky though. She was our barky dog. We always knew when someone was here, because she would bark. And when we arrived home, she always greeted us with her bark barking.  I miss that now. Our house is quiet, and our other dog Louie is lonely. He has always been our quiet dog.

My mom was sad about Sophie too. She said it was like one of the last ties to my Aunt.  And she is right. I feel like it was more than just Sophie that we let go.

We brought her in Thursday, and we were all there with her. I held her and comforted her. Her passing went quickly. I was able to spend some time alone with her on Thursday, to tell her she wouldn't be in pain much longer and to tell her what a good girl she was for us. I know she knew, and I know she understood.

So we go through the days, one at a time, missing Sophie and adjusting to our new, quieter house. I miss her more than I ever thought I would.

My aunt

I thought of my aunt today, as I do most days.

She is spending her sixth year in heaven and rejoicing and singing with the Lord.

I miss her. A lot.

The sting has lessened, but it is still there. There is so much I miss about her.

My cousin, her daughter, and I talked the other day since it was cousins birthday. She said, "why do we miss our moms most on our birthdays?" Well, because mom's are special and they always remember your birthday.

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Hebrews 13:8, King James Version

May 30

Today marks five long years since my aunt died unexpectedly. I actually thought my cousin was calling about my Grandma since we all expected my grandma, at age 96, to die first.

My cousin called me at 6 am and I was just shocked by what she told me. Then I had to call my mom and tell her. That was very difficult. It was horrible.

I still miss my dear aunt. I miss sharing a whole lot of stuff with her. I just miss talking to her too. We were always very close.

As the years go by, I have less and less bad days, but I still ocassionally have those bad days.

Oddly, one year ago my dog died on this day too. I posted about Otis here. He's the one right in front. I still miss him a lot too. He was my special dog. He loved my aunt too. I brought Otis out on a plane to visit my aunt and her dogs.
I know I will never have another Otis in my life, he was that special.....

May 30

Four years ago on this day my dear aunt died.

It was very, very sudden. I was shocked.

I had to call my mother and tell her that her little sister was dead.

It seemed so very unreal.

My aunt was taking care of my grandma and we all thought grandma would go first.

We had no idea. None.

It's been four very long, sad years.

I miss my aunt very very much.

November 24, 2007.........

It's November 24th again. That means it's my Aunts Birthday again.
Except she isn't here to celebrate anymore. It's been 3 and 1/2 yrs since she died now and I still miss her daily.
I wonder if it will be any easier as the yrs go by? It's still hard and I still miss her.
I went to visit my cousin in October. My Aunts daughter. How silly of me but I drove by the house I used to visit and stay at when I visited with her. I didn't really cry then, but when my cousin asked if I had driven by the house, that is when I started crying!!
It has to get easier doesn't it?

Memorial day

This memorial day marks the third year that I don't have my dear Aunt with me. This is the aunt mentioned in earlier posts.
I miss her very very much.
My cousin, my aunts daughter, asked an interesting question:
Why do we remember the date of our loved ones death?? Why is it important for us to remember this??

Memorial day is also a day to remember our soldiers that have served and serve today.
It is also a day to remember the soldiers for Christ--
*Mother Theresa--she loved everyone, she loved the unlovable. She touched the untouchables, that no one else would touch. She gave her life everyday to spread the love of Christ to others.
*David Livingstone- He was an explorer, the first European to see Victoria Falls in Africa. He was also a minister and opened Africa up to evangelism and Christ.
*Martin Luther King Jr.--not only was he a civil rights leader, but he too was a minister and evangelist spreading the love of Jesus. He was killed to prevent him from spreading the gospel.
*Thomas Aquinas--an Italian priest
*William Wilberforce--he lead a campaign in England to abolish the slave trade there
*James Hudson Taylor--a missionary to china
*C.S Lewis
*John Jay--one of our founding fathers
To name just a few.
Remember our soldiers from all wars, that fought for us to have the freedoms we have today.
And remember our loved ones that are gone.

My Aunt...........

Today is my Aunts birthday. Except she died in May of 2004. She is the aunt that took care of my Grandma. (see August 15 post)
We were very close all throughout my life. We had a lot in common too. Crocheting was one of our common interests and she is the aunt who got me started on making my own wood crochet hooks. We passed books back and forth too.
Ever since Grandma moved out to be with my aunt, I would fly out to visit them every 3 months. I would stay for 6 days. We always had fun and I got to see my Grandma too.
Then in April of 2003 my aunt broke her knee and I drove out with my two puppies and stayed a month to take care of Grandma and my Aunt.
I am greatful for that month.
The last time I saw my aunt and grandma I flew out when I was 18 weeks pregnant with my son. I had a good visit not knowing it would be the last time I ever saw my aunt.
I miss her everyday. Everyday I think about her. Wishing she were here again, knowing it's not possible. I just still feel an empty spot in my life without my aunt.
I wonder if it will ever go away???
I have some stuff from my aunt that I brought home when I stayed the month. These are items I don't need, they are more knicknack type things. But with the Seven things project, I am finding them hard to let go.
Maybe one day I can...................

Seven Things week 9

Nothing too exciting this week.
*Safety kit for blinds, pictured
*Green polo shirt
*Pair of leather sandals
*Four Veggie tales placemats
*Eleven (yes eleven!!) Dog bowls
*Eight leather and various other dog leashes and collars
The safety kit I just happened across and I have never used it, maybe someone else can.
The dog stuff--let me explain. Two years ago, we inherited THREE dogs. That is on top of the THREE dogs we already had! But this was a special circumstance. These were my Dear Aunts dogs and she had died suddenly. So my dear husband drove from Minnesota to Maryland in one weekend to pick up these special dogs. Luckily the dogs knew all of us. They came with dog bowls, toys and lots of collars and leashes. We weeded through what was going to work for us and put the rest in the closet in a bag. I am finally getting around to finding a new home for them all. The bowls--well, they came with bowls too, but a lot of the bowls were from me too. But, now they each have two Stainless bowls . And we only have one of the dogs with us now. Sadly, two of them nipped at my son and we found new homes for them.