Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for
*my mom
*bright sunny days
*the ability to read
*to be able to pray to a living God
*healthy children
*for friends I have met along the way, both IRL and on the internet.
I know that friends are in our lives for a season and for a reason. There is something to be gained from each friendship we have no matter how short or long that friendship may be.


Three years ago today my dear sweet Grandma died. I still miss her everyday.
We were very close throughout my whole life.
This August would have marked her 100th birthday. She was rarely sick in her lifetime and it was only toward the very end that her health was bad.
In her latter years she had dementia and Alzheimers. It was sad to see her decline but I am ever grateful to have had her in my life for so many years!
There should come a day where it isn't so sad, but I don't quite know when that will be or if I will ever stop writing about it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

O Jerusalem

Tonight for some reason I am remembering my trip to Israel in 1999, It was June and we went for six days only. I could spend forever there!! We did a lot in 6 days.
The weather was beautiful. Most of the food was wonderful, the almonds and baklava were the best I have ever had, and the company was great.
Dh and I went with about 5 others from the church we were currently at.
It was magnificient to be there. We went to and Mt Ebal, above Shechem, Jacobs well, The Dead sea, the wailing wall, The temple mount, Jericho, Masada and the Old city, We stayed on the Mt of Olives and prayed at the garden of Gethsemane. The very last day we went to Yad Vashem. I am thankful we waited til the last day--it was a very solemn experience. I cried a lot and most especially at the childrens part. It was a packed visit.
I even rode a camel near Jericho. There was a young boy with his camel and I asked if I could ride it, he said yes!! I screamed! A camel is NOT like a horse, it's gait is not smooth at all.
There was a Russian woman at the Dead sea and we carried on a conversation. It was funny because I was wearing shorts and a t shirt to swim in and she was telling me to take off my shorts and t shirt and swim only in a bra and underwear!! The dead sea is oily. But you can float in it and you can see Jordan from the sea.
Near Jericho, we saw the Monastery of Temptation. It was an incredible visit.
Masada was very interesting. Very high up.
I would go back to Israel in a minute.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Well said.

My friend recently posted this and I am posting it with her permission since she said so perfectly how I feel too. She is not only my online friend but a friend I met in real life. I know these are HER words, but these words sum up my feelings perfectly. This is the perfect post to the feelings of many, I believe.

"I went through the addresses of people I'd met online. I realized how many people were my friends. How many weren't. How many were there for a season and nothing more. And, of course, I was sad.
I realized, again, how many people gave me support and kind words to help me through my journey in life. I realized, again, how much of it was lies. Some of those people I'd have done anything for. And, I just can't get past how it all fell apart like a house of cards.
Since my favorite online "home" fell apart, I'm still feeling lost. I still haven't found something to replace it. All those personalities (good and bad) went in many separate directions. Everyone had their part to play, again--good and bad. Everyone was a part of that "home."
Someone said that online life isn't *real* life. But that person is wrong. Just as in *real* life, there are liars, cheaters, good people, bad people, evil people...the same is true about internet life. There are people to whom you bond and with whom you form friendships. There are people you can't stand. There are people who are quiet and whom I never really got to know until it was all ending and then I realized what I missed or didn't miss when I had the opportunity to chat more.
My heart is still broken over the splits. There are people I'd love to reach out to but it seems as though sides have been chosen and I'm on the opposing team. These are people I'll probably never get the chance to speak with again and while I want to be OK with that, it still hurts. I want to clear the air with them but I'm on the opposing team. I'm the enemy by default.
There are people who swayed me one way or another and now I'm realizing we were all wrong. There are people who were lied to and now hate all the people who *should* be trusted. And some of these people on all sides were right/wrong/indifferent and for many reasons. It's like reading a novel about secret agents where it ends in a way you can't expect because surely, the good guys are the good guys and the bad guys are the bad guys.
And, as I erased the names from my computer that I really don't need to speak to again, I still felt a twinge. Because I can remember when that person reached out during a crisis and helped me get through it. But they were just double agents playing both sides of the fence to keep that drama-free facade in place."

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Blankets for the Gulf

I found this organization on my crochet board. It provides handmade blankets for the victims of Katrina! I was surprised that there were still so many people in need.
I have been involved with this organization for about 6 months now and I received another request for three blankets. these three are for an elderly woman, her grown niece and the niece's son. I hope they like the afghans. THIS is why I crochet and give my blankets away. (just in case anyone is wondering!)
The blankets are generally about 40x60 inches. That would be about 3 1/2 feet by 5 feet though they are longer than five feet.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Yesterday once more.............

When I was young
I'd listened to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Looking back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed

All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more


Do you have regrets in your life??
I do. I have many regrets. Mostly they are actions and reactions I never ever would do or have today.
But, I believe that our life experiences form who we are. Our character, our integrity, our beliefs, our compassion toward others. I believe our experiences can change us for the good and the bad.
Would I change things? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I can regret my mistakes, and I can come to terms with my mistakes and regrets, but I believe they also mold who and what we are.
I do know that if some of the situations that happened when I was younger hadn't happened, that I wouldn't be living the life that I am living now.
I am thankful I made it through my life experiences to be where I am today.

Friday, January 25, 2008

A Time...................................

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible.

Ecclesiastes 3
Everything Has Its Time
1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thankful Thursday...

The idea for Thankful Thursday comes from Bethany at Raindrops and Rainbows.
Thankyou Bethany!!

Today I am thankful for
*my husband-he is a wonderful daddy, partner and provider
*my daughter- who was a blessing to me in my youth and continues to be a blessing
*my son- who is a blessing as I age
*my mother for remaining healthy in her old age
*my friends--for listening and just being there

Psalm 150:6

6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!

Ebay blankets

Not really though. My daughter was over this morning and I told her that some women were accusing me of buying blankets and giving them away instead of making them myself. She was shocked that people would think that.
Really, why would I buy over 100 baby blankets to give away??
Is that totally ridiculous or what??
Could it be that I enjoy crocheting and giving blankets as gifts? For doing that I was called a freak and attention seeker. Some of these women I had even met in real life AND they were women that received blankets for their children!! It's just stunning to me the degree of hate some people can have.
All I can do is pray for them, and I do!!
I don't do much but I love to crochet. It's just that simple!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

On being let down.......

Have you ever been let down? With a friend or a family member?
I just feel so very disappointed right now. Just let down and abandoned.
I am weary of childish games being played with people. I am weary of misunderstandings, of saying one thing but really meaning another thing but not saying it. Of not having the whole story and assumptions.
I am weary of imagined competition.
I just wish people would take responsibility for their actions and reactions. A person can only play the victim so much before it is not believable anymore.
It's so hard not to take offense at every single thing. I know that is something I work on everyday.
This type of disappointment just takes the joy out of everything. It's no fun at all.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Thirty-five years ago..............

On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court legalized abortion.
It was a sad day in our history.
It has changed millions of lives.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Memorial Blankets

I made another memorial blanket for a woman that I know that lost a baby before term.
This one is a little bigger than I normally make but not much. The color is actually the baby pink color. The lighting was terrible for that pic.
I find it sad that I even make these tiny blankets but I am hopeful they bring some amount of comfort.

My Mom

My mom will be 80 years old this summer. I am her only daughter. She has four sons and then me.
Last year sometime she started talking about moving out of her condo. she loves her place. Had it redecorated finally and it's her home. She has lived there about 16 years. My dad lived there too but he died in 1996.
Mom started to talk about how expensive it would be to move to another place, like really really expensive considering her condo is totally paid for so all she pays are association fees and utilities. After some more talking and a bit of prodding, it came out that she is having a hard time cleaning her place. You know, scrubbing floors and vacuuming, dusting etc.
So, I immediately told her I could come every two weeks on a Saturday to clean her house, more often if she needed it, and I could see the burden lifting off her shoulders! Really, she heaved a sigh of relief because she didn't really want to move.
So every two weeks I go over there and clean. She does her bathrooms and dusts and I do the rest. It doesn't take long and it's fun. Sometimes my daughter comes with and helps and my husband stays home with the boy.
We talk, sometimes we have lunch, and lately I have been there all day while we identify very old family pictures and the people in them.
It's been fun too. It's absolutely no big deal for me to do this and I get a few hours of "me" time. It's a good thing I don't mind cleaning. And I am glad to be able to do it and help her stay in her own place. Se's in pretty good shape for her age too, which I am grateful for.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Word Cloud #3

Time for another word cloud.

Closings.........Final Thoughts

A message board that I used to frequent is closing. Today is the last day. I cannot say my goodbyes on the board so I am doing it here.
This board was started almost 3 years ago as an offshoot of another board that was much bigger. So I have known some of those women since 2001 when I joined the first board.
I went through my pregnancy and birth and first years of my sons life with these women. We shared intimate details of our lives and our struggles with PCOS and our struggles to raise our babies.
We met. We had two huge Wisconsin Dells meet ups and I met some of the women individually.
I cannot assume to know why the board is closing but I certainly have a very good idea why it is all happening. Sadly, I played a role in the board closing.
I will miss all of the women too. Yes, I said all. They each had their own wonderful personalities and that is what made the board a success.
I have learned a great deal throughout all of this. I have mostly learned that you can't assume anything in life and you really need the whole story, and not just one side, or your own side of the story.
People I thought were friends all along, weren't really.
The whole situation saddens me a great deal. I have not been part of that community for about a month now. I am deeply saddened by the whole incident and most espsecially the board closing, it was a very close knit community.
I will always be thankful for the season I spent on the board and the friendships I gained and the knowledge learned.
I will remember the board and the women with a smile.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Stalkers on the internet.

I have an internet stalker. I am pretty sure this person is harmless.
I recently joined a message board under another name and this "stalker" found me there.
It's a little discomforting to know that this person found me there.
But I can live with it. I have nothing to hide. Most of the members have taken different names for various reasons.

A Poem

This was posted by my friend Bethany at a message board.

If - By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


Saturday, January 12, 2008

A fitting Bible verse for today

Matthew 10:16

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Did someone mention Yarn again??

I guess it was me. I made an order of cotton yarn and I received it yesterday. It is beautiful and it was on a great sale. I couldn't resist. I really enjoy working with cotton yarn but it is hard on my hands.
It's called Buttercream. It is a variegated yellow. From pale yellow to a rich golden yellow. It is beautiful. It also has white in it and I bought white cotton yarn to make the second strand for the blanket.
I purchased enough to make at least two baby blankets. Maybe a third smaller one.
Don't know when I will get to them but I will make a post when I complete a blanket.

I am Invisible

This is from Shannon on a message board I visit. Not sure where she found it but I like it.

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the
phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't
you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm
on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing
on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you
fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer,
"What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right
around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and
the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa
cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again.

She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back
from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the
hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare
and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.. My
unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, " I brought you this. "
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With
admiration for the greatness of w hat you are building when
no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I
would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work:

* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..

* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending s o much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right no w what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, no t only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

author unknown

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


My little guy is in pre school two days a week and he really likes school.
They go outside when the weather is nice here.
Today they went out and I got to school a bit early to pick him up and the class was walking in from outside.
Here they come down the hall in a caterpillar, it's so cute. I spot my little guy in his jacket and hat and NO mittens!! I know he had mittens when I dropped them off because I stuffed them into his hat then into his jacket sleeve. Isn't that what everyone does??
So he walks by me and says "no gloves mom" and holds up his little hands. I thought that is odd, since his mitties were in his hat. I see his hat on his head and I can tell the mitties are still in his hat!!!
There is a student teacher and I think she is young. She told me she had to put her gloves on his hands while they were outside!! I thought it was just odd that no one checked his hat for his mitties.
I asked the other parents if they put the mitties inthe hats and they all said yes!
Oh well, at least it wasn't too cold out and it was cute seeing the little ones walk in their line into class.

Monday, January 07, 2008

It's got to stop

Or does it??
My husband came home relatively early from work today which is a treat.
We went shopping. Guess what I bought?? YARN!! Again. It was on sale and there were two colors I have never seen before. I bought 36 skeins this time. That's enough for SIX blankets.
I don't buy a lot of clothes, I don't wear much jewelry, other than my wedding/engagement ring, my anniversary ring and my necklace. I don't spend a lot of money on much of anything really. My vice these days is yarn. If there is a good sale, how can I pass it up? It gets used too. And it's a good hobby to have.
Now all I need is a yarn room in my house.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Yeah, yeah, I know.
About 6 years or so ago, I received some lime green cotton yarn from the local coordinators of Project Linus. It was LIME green yarn. It was atrocious. But who am I to turn down free yarn?? I made many many blankets with this yarn. MANY blankets. I used white with it and made all lime green blankets. I got very tired of this yarn.
So, I gave a lot of it to my best friend and crochet buddy Kim. Kim has made many many blankets with this yarn.
I asked her recently if she had any left and lo and behold she did!!!
So I asked her for enough to make a blanket and she actually had enough and then some.
I can't even tell you how many skeins of this yarn I gave to her, but it was a lot of yarn.
I had to order the accompanying yarn I want to use with it so it will be a few weeks before I am able to work on it but I am excited to make this blanket!! Can you believe that?
Oh, it is one of Kim's favorite colors and she made a beautiful blanket with it. I am using the same second colors that she used so it should be a pretty blanket. I hope.
I will post a picture of it when it is done.  This link has the completed blanket

Of wills and my mom

What a very unpleasant but very needed topic. My husband and I really need to make some provisions for our family too.
My mom is nearing 80 years old and her will is dated from 1981. My dad died in 1996.
She has five children. She needs to update her will.
I go to my moms every two weeks to clean her house and we usually have lunch and go through some family pictures. It's been interesting.
Today after cleaning we read her will and talked about some changes she would like to make. I wrote down the changes and additions she would like. I will type it up and she will take her will and the new things to her lawyer and have a new will drawn up.
It's just something she knows needs to be done and I am just trying to help her.

Neti pots..........

I finally bought one. It works. It is supposed to change the pH in your sinus cavaties and get rid of the bacteria to help you have a healthy nose.
I just used it for the first time and it felt good!!
I told my mom about it and she even knew what I was talking about!! she said "that's an old time thing".