Are you a narcissist?
My daughter and I were discussing this the other day. She is taking psychology classes and she often shares with me. I think we are all narcissistic to a degree, it’s when it gets out of hand that it is dangerous. I also think that if we look back through our lives and friendships, we can identify who has or had these characteristics. I found it astonishing at first. Then I was able to see how several of my friends, past and present, fit into the category. I did a little googling to find this info but I think it can be useful.
After reading quite a bit about this, the only way to get away from a narcissistic person is to just not have any contact with them ever again.
This was from one site I read:
How do you get a narcissist to leave you alone?
Leave them alone and ask God to protect you from them.
~~Does the following describe anyone you know?? Does any of this sound familiar to you?? Once you recognize the characteristics, it's almost like it jumps out at you and you say "that's it, now I finally understand"!!! And you know what?? It is so liberating to finally know and then know how to react to it!!
Someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) has at least 5 of the following characteristics:
1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4.requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Here are some more signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder to look out for:
* Jealousy and possessiveness
* Excessive need to feel special, adored, loved, appreciated, or admired
* Rage attacks when you do not sufficiently meet his/her needs
* Controlling behaviors (trying to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, how you dress, etc.)
* Inflated self-esteem, or grandiosity (bragging, "fishing" for compliments)
* Dramatic, insecure behaviors
* Expecting you to take responsibility for making him/her feel better about him/herself
* Blaming you for behaviors or feelings (i.e., "YOU made me do this," or "YOU made me feel this way.")
* Not taking responsibility for angry behavior and justifying angry outbursts
* An attitude that demonstrates "the world revolves around me" and "you need to cater to my ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings."
* An unwillingness to reflect on his/her own behaviors
A list of words to describe a Narcissist:
Charming, arrogant, snob, name dropper, shallow, sly, self serving, assertive, socially poised, confident, hero, hero worshiper, bully, actor, verbose, cliquish, controlling, stud, vamp, God's gift to women or men, born leader, brain, charismatic, conniving, convincing, living in fantasy world, pathological liar, vain, superior, arrogant, brash, ego centric, unpleasant, condescending, power-seeking, devious, patronizing, nasty spoiled kid, impeccable manners, offish, driven, innovative, disruptive, jealous, clannish, cliquish, gossipy, best friend, worst enemy, effusive, complimentary, critical, back stabbing, selfish, self centered, self important, spotlight hog, always talks about them self, ignores other people's feelings, know it all, bully, liar, manipulator, always right, never apologizes, never acts grow up, Peter Pan, spoiled, child like, cold, effusive, intelligent, loves to talk about themselves, wants to be center of attention, wants the best office etc, Drama Queen, King Pin, has to keep up with the Jones, has to have latest or biggest or most expensive thing to impress others, romantic, cold hearted, hyper-sexual, not interested in sex, sadistic, unemotional, over reacts, angry, yells, screams, demands immediate recognition and service, preferential treatment, throws tantrums, over bearing, can switch from being super nice to nasty in a second, acts like a queen or princess if a woman, or like a super macho if a man, Fame junkies. They are obsessed with the fantasy of unlimited success, power, brilliance and ideal love and beauty. They only associated with important people. They lack affect, they often look into mirrors...
Narcissistic personality disorder: SPECIAL (5 criteria).
S: Special (believes he or she is special and unique)
P: Preoccupied with fantasies (of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love)
E: Entitlement
C: Conceited (grandiose sense of self-importance)
I: Interpersonal exploitation
A: Arrogant (haughty)
L: Lacks empathy
The stages of feeling victims experience.
1) The Roadkill Stage
This is when you finally hit bottom due to the experience with a Narcissist.
2) The Realization Stage
This is when the answers to the questions that have been plaguing you begin to get answered and you now know what it is you have been dealing with all this time. You begin to research everything you can find on Narcissism. You usually feel better that you know, but the sense of betrayal begins to hit you like a Mack truck. Unfortunately, you start to feel angry at yourself for letting it go on for so long.
3) The Anger Stage
This is when the full impact of what you went through hits home and all hell breaks loose! Anger is uncomfortable, but I think it is a necessary step towards healing. At first, it is like an erupting volcano, then it usually evolves in focusing on how to get through. If you don't let as much of the anger out at this stage, you will stay stuck for a longer period of time.
4) Taking Affirmative Action Stage
This is when you begin to learn to effectively focus your new-found knowledge into making life decisions. This is also the period where you begin to learn and practice techniques on how to protect yourself from the Narcissist. This is the stage where some decide on divorce, relocating, changing jobs, and lifestyle changes. This is also a time of great upheaval, because the Narcissist usually knows that the "gig is up" The Narcissist will fight you tooth and nail to win. This is a crucial stage in healing, because it is at this stage that the Narcissist will also try to "put on the charm" to return you to status quo. The Narcissist can be very vicious at this stage. It is usually best to have as little contact as possible with the Narcissist. It is also the time to continue to learn about how to continue to protect yourself and continue to focus on you and your healing.
5) The Fall-Out Stage
This is when you become more comfortable in your knowledge of how to deal with the Narcissist, where you begin to forgive yourself, where you begin to feel better about yourself and your abilities. You are actively planning your future, getting to know yourself again, and you notice how much better physically and emotionally you feel out of the presence of the Narcissist. The fog of Narcissism has lifted somewhat and you begin to get your confidence back. While this is happening, you are still experiencing the waves of the past stages, it seems to come in cycles that diminish in intensity over time.
6) The Mirroring Stage
Not everyone goes through this stage, it is a personal decision. This is when you mirror the Narcissists behavior back at them, effectively scaring them off! I was particularly fond of this stage, because it allowed me to siphon off the anger and project it back to the person who caused it. It is effective in scaring off the Narcissist, but sometimes it takes many sessions of "mirroring" before the stubborn Narcissist finally "gets it". Unfortunately for many victims, many Narcissists aren't willing to accept that it is OVER and continually try to get back under the victims skin using guilt, fear, pity, threats, violence and financial abuse. Many Narcissists keep "coming back for more NS."
Depending on how you handle the Narcissist in this stage, it will depend on how long this stage lasts. If you, even for a moment give the Narcissist ANY NS at all, show any vulnerability, sympathy, fear, or confusion, it will put you back a few stages and you will have to work your way through again. This cycle can happen many times.
7) Realization and Apathy
Once you effectively block all means of communication with the Narcissist as efficiently as possible, protect yourself from them as much as you can, gain knowledge and confidence in yourself, you reach a stage of realization that there was nothing you could have done to help or prevent the nightmare that you just lived through. You start looking for effective ways to manage your life, work towards your new future and close the door in the face of the Narcissist. The most effective way that I have found to do this is with APATHY. Apathy works. It requires very little work on your part. You display no outward emotions towards the Narcissist, who seems to forever be trying to re-enter your life for the coveted NS, you yawn frequently whenever they have something to say, you outright IGNORE their existence as if they died.
Eventually, in a sense they do die, because without your attention, without your sympathy, without your guilt, without your adoration, without your anger, and without your fear, they do wither away and die. If there is nothing for them to affirm their existence through you, and they cannot exist around you. It is not to say that they won't try. They want to be able to evoke an emotional response in you. If you don't give them any, then eventually, like Pavlov's dog they figure out the bowl is empty and move on to the next victim. This stage can take some time, because as we know, the Narcissist does not give up on precious supply sources easily.
What is the difference between criticism from a friend or colleague and a Narcissist's attack? Most people who want to help you, who care for you, will be polite and broach the subject of an injury or insult with care. A Narcissist doesn't want to warn you, because they don't want you to be prepared, they go for the jugular, jumping on whatever insult they feel you have given them, not letting you explain or prepare a defense. They are not 'polite' though they will protest they are the most polite people in the word; their actions give them away.
The attack of a Narcissist is usually unexpected, abrupt and blind sides you. At some time in the past or present they have been humiliated by something you said, the way you looked at them or even by your achievements (this can be how you look, your house, your vacation and even your intelligence). They keep grievances for a long time, letting them simmer and then springing it on you when you least expect it, or when you are unprepared. (The most telling time this takes place is during the reading of the will, when you find out what you did when you were 6 years old that peeve them.)
You have to play court to them, pay attention to them, compliment them - they perceive you as a source of narcissistic supply/attention. If not they will make you pay. They keep a list of insults, slights, things you did or didn't do, and when they think you are weak and vulnerable, they will attack you. They are cowards, so don't expect a honest dialog, instead they will vent their spleen on you, threaten you and make you apologize to them.
You have several choices; you can excuse yourself gracefully, putting them at a disadvantage in the sense that you are noble and open minded compared to them, but it also makes you look weak in their eyes, so be careful how you do this. This diffuses the situation, and it makes you aware that you are dealing with a Narcissist - read the rest of this site for more information.
You can deny everything, because most of it makes no sense to you anyway, being a childish rant. This will probably make them angrier, because you are denying their view point, their mad outlook at life.
Or you can counter attack. The last strategy works only if you know about the N attack before hand. They want you to be unprepared and vulnerable, so that their attack works. If you provoke them on purpose make sure you have lots of facts, figures and witnesses. They will never forgive you for besting them. A narcissist will only allow someone they admire to criticize them. Narcissists will never attack someone they admire - it would be like attack themselves as they project their fantasies onto their hero/mirror. Only when their hero falls into disgrace will you hear them criticize their hero.
After the Narcissists attack you may feel horrible, physically abused, because they have taken all the trash in their minds, and dumped it on you. Projecting and transference. Think of a childish tantrum. If you can laugh about the attack, then you are OK. Narcissists make you develop good boundaries and defenses. If you let them get to you, let their words, insults and accusations become more and more real and logical, then they have won. They are trying to instill in you an introject; i.e. doubt, fear and self loathing.
The best thing to do is to laugh at them, in private, because they hate to be ridiculed in public. Think of the tale of the Emperor's new cloths, think also of what the story never tells you, what happened to the little boy? Was he beheaded like critics who peeved the queen in Alice in Wonderland? Narcissists hate to be put on the spot but they love putting others on the spot. They are playing a game, because they are not really hurt, they are protecting their mirror image that they admire, and that you some how tarnished.
Remember, they have no real feelings, it is all an act. They are not 'hurt', their image is damaged. They have no feelings, because if they did they would care about your feelings, which is obvious they don't based on why they attacked you in the first place..
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Message board ruminations
I’ve learned a lot about message boards. I joined my first message board in 2001. The following thoughts are a conglomeration of almost all of the message boards I have been a part of. My husband agrees that there are a ton of issues on message boards too. He belongs to several woodworking boards that have had issues similar to mine.
Most message boards are for three reasons:
1. Support
2. Exchange of information
3. Advice
What I have also learned about message boards is that Communication is difficult. It is difficult to hear the tone on a message board, people are not always clear in their typing, and I believe that can lead to:
1. Gossip
2. Miscommunication
3. Misunderstanding
4. Hurt feelings.
5. Assumptions
My thought has always been if you have something to ask someone, ask the person instead of assuming something. That always leads to even more issues.
I have seen miscommunication and lack of communication ruin message boards. I have seen many many people hurt by actions that resulted from a lack of communication or miscommunication and gossip. How can you resolve something if you don’t talk to people? How can you come to a conclusion if you don’t talk to people? Instead what I have seen is gossip and lack of communication. I have seen people that feel inadequate make up gossip that has been hurtful. I was the recipient of nasty gossip at one time. Apparently I made someone feel inadequate with my housekeeping/childcare skills and of my crocheting. This was another mother too.But this woman didn’t come to me, instead she started hurtful gossip about me!! And other women that I thought were friends joined in. Did one of those women come to me to discuss any issues??? No, they didn’t.
It truly is baffling to me. When did trust, confidence and communication become SO hard it just stops? Why does this happen among friends? Is it so hard to just e mail or PM or IM someone to clear something up?? To communicate??
Then there is the gossip. I know that I struggle with gossip on a daily basis. The Bible has a lot to say about gossip. Here is just one verse:
1 Timothy 5:13
*And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.*
Just to be crystal clear on the subject of gossip—I have done my share and above that of gossiping. It is quite possibly the hardest issues to work on. It’s so easy to just say something. But I try to work on it daily and I believe I am making progress.
With recent events on message boards lately, I have found my heart is not really in it anymore. I need to spend less time on the internet anyway.
Most message boards are for three reasons:
1. Support
2. Exchange of information
3. Advice
What I have also learned about message boards is that Communication is difficult. It is difficult to hear the tone on a message board, people are not always clear in their typing, and I believe that can lead to:
1. Gossip
2. Miscommunication
3. Misunderstanding
4. Hurt feelings.
5. Assumptions
My thought has always been if you have something to ask someone, ask the person instead of assuming something. That always leads to even more issues.
I have seen miscommunication and lack of communication ruin message boards. I have seen many many people hurt by actions that resulted from a lack of communication or miscommunication and gossip. How can you resolve something if you don’t talk to people? How can you come to a conclusion if you don’t talk to people? Instead what I have seen is gossip and lack of communication. I have seen people that feel inadequate make up gossip that has been hurtful. I was the recipient of nasty gossip at one time. Apparently I made someone feel inadequate with my housekeeping/childcare skills and of my crocheting. This was another mother too.But this woman didn’t come to me, instead she started hurtful gossip about me!! And other women that I thought were friends joined in. Did one of those women come to me to discuss any issues??? No, they didn’t.
It truly is baffling to me. When did trust, confidence and communication become SO hard it just stops? Why does this happen among friends? Is it so hard to just e mail or PM or IM someone to clear something up?? To communicate??
Then there is the gossip. I know that I struggle with gossip on a daily basis. The Bible has a lot to say about gossip. Here is just one verse:
1 Timothy 5:13
*And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.*
Just to be crystal clear on the subject of gossip—I have done my share and above that of gossiping. It is quite possibly the hardest issues to work on. It’s so easy to just say something. But I try to work on it daily and I believe I am making progress.
With recent events on message boards lately, I have found my heart is not really in it anymore. I need to spend less time on the internet anyway.
I see you!!!
If you are reading my blog, quit lurking and leave a comment--even if it's just to say "hi"!! Communicate!!! I enjoy reading comments and seeing who is reading my blog.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Taming the tongue
This is a study about gossip. I have heard several sermons about gossip and the harm it can cause.
James 3:1-12
Dr. Richard J. Krejcir
Taming the Tongue!
General idea: Here is where James is slapping our face to get our attention ondiscipline so we do not fall further into judgment. Why? Because; words can get us in so much trouble, and serve both for the good of the Kingdom and the determent of the Church. Who has control of your words, God or man? Do your words reflect who you are in Christ, or does the sinful nature have it roots in you? Is wisdom guiding them, or the desire for the world’s attention? This are James’ questions to the early Church in their struggle with gossip, slander, and, a problem we all have at times—speaking before thinking (James 1: 26; 2:12; 4:1, 11-12). Words have the crucial role of communicating not only our ideas but how we are connecting with others. Thus, how we use our spoken language, as well as our body language, is of utmost importance and that we do so knowing we have been bought by Christ and we are His ambassadors (2 Cor 5:20). Our tongue must reflect our spiritual maturity and character! Our words, and the deeds that result from them, will convey to others who Christ is in us and how they should view Him. This may sound overwhelming, but it is also an honor and blessing to be called to convey His precepts, not in just preaching a sermon, but in how we live our daily life to God’s honor, demonstrated in our connections with others.
Vs. 1-5a: James first mentions, in verses 1: 19 and 26, how Jesus calls us to be wise stewards of our words (Matt. 12:33-38; Mark 7:20-23). Now, he gives further reproof. Teaching is not just a job or call; it is a responsibility we must take very seriously! The office of the teacher is perhaps the most important role in the church, and the one with the greatest responsibility. James then gives us illustrations that the tongue is small but its wake and impact can be immeasurable. God calls us to tame our tongue, and acknowledges that we do not have the ability to do so alone; however, He gives those who are in Him the ability to do so!
· Become teachers-stricter judgment. A teacher has the responsibility of the trust of the susceptible student to teach with clarity and truth. Jewish sages, who were pious, warned that wrong teaching, leading others astray, and deliberately teaching error were heinous sins, as was promoting our own desires for personal glory and position. We are held accountable for our teachings; we are to teach God’s wisdom not ours, His glory not ours (Matt. 5:19; 18:6; Rom. 14:10-12; James 3:13-18)!
· We all stumble means we all make mistakes that are not deliberate, premeditated sins. This is also a Jewish adage that we make mistakes and sin. However, as God knows we are fallible, we still have the responsibility to do our best to be wise stewards of our words.
· The human tongue, to Jewish wisdom and Scripture, is a wild and evil force as well as an instrument for good. Our heart and spiritual formation will determine the impact and outcome of our words (Prov. 11:9; 12:18; 18:21).
· Horse-bits. This representation is that great results come from small means. In an agrarian culture, the domestication of animals was essential as a source of labor, substance, and wealth. Every family unit in biblical times, except a slave or a very poor person, would have animals. This is a rhetorical question that all could understand; we can control wild animals, why not our very own tongue? Thus, our words can determine the direction of our lives and shape us for what is ahead!
· Little member. James’ point is that small devices can have great power. The tongue is nether friend or foe, yet it is a refection of our mind and a mirror to our soul. Thus, it is a tool at our heart’s and mind’s disposal! It is the indication of how we are dealing with life, our spiritual growth, our character, and our maturity.
James is telling us that those who teach have a greater responsibility in communicating effectively and we will be judged in a stricter sense due to the fact we are conveying to others His precepts. If we do it with bad intentions, or use words to put others off/down instead of lifting them up, we will be judged for it! So, how we can make sure we are better at modeling Christ to others? The key thing James brings to our attention is the discipline to exercise self control in how we use words! This is paramount, because what comes out will either lift up or destroy. The power and responsibility are ours.
Vs. 5b-12: James was attacking gossip and equating it with a devastating forest fire in a time man could do nothing but watch and see everything destroyed. Some Christians, as well as radical Jewish groups, were leading people astray by teaching violence and not reconciliation. If we do not get under His discipline, as in Fruit of the Spirit, with our tongue, we may be under God’s discipline as in Judgment. Are we aware of the consequences when we misbehave? God has grace for us, but we should never negate our responsibility (Matt. 7:16-21; 15:10-11, 17-19)!
· Kindles. The point is that a small force can ignite, become out of control, and then destroy a large area. Our words have awesome power and they can fervently destroy (Prov. 16:27-29)!
· World of iniquity/evil means the world’s evil is from the tongue. Even though Satan can get control of our tongue, he is not need to do so, as our pride, boasting, anger, bitterness, gossip, lust, slander… is just as powerful in its devastation as he!
· Defiles means evil speech such as lies, false vows, and slander as well as blasphemy and gossip. The Bible says they are all evil! A small tongue in our large body controls our direction, relationships, and all we experience in life from peace to violence; it is how we are perceived and how others react to us (Psalm 25:15, 23; 28:23; 39:1-3; 52:1-4; 57:4; 120:2-4; Prov. 16:27; 26:21).
· Hell, (Greek Gehenna) refers to the valley of Hinnom, the place where the heinous child sacrifices took place under Ahaz and Manasseh (2 Chron. 28; 33; Jer. 7:32). This was the wickedest place a Jewish mind could conceive of, and where the first century Jews burned their trash. It also refers to everlasting torment (Mark 9:43-48). It is the image of judgment. Our tongue is hurtful when it is boastful and condescending and thus will lead to the fate of those who are dammed. James is not saying gossip causes a person to go to Hell, rather it is where its concept and veracity leads, the logical conclusion. Remember, we still have grace that saves and protects.
· Tame. The tongue is harder to tame than a wild beast! Animals are made to be to be subservient; we are made to be over the animals (Rom. 3:13-14). Can we have rule over the animals but not ourselves?
· Deadly poison, as in deadly cobra venom, the most powerful illustration that could be made in this time! James is using the image of Moses’ snake, how the snakes killed and how the symbol which is the modern medical symbol today, heals (Nub. 21:6-9). This compares the uncontrolled tongue to the deadliest snake, and how our words can be of love or be a deadly toxin (Psalm 52:2; 58:1-6; 64:3; 140:3; Prov. 12:8, 18; 16:24; 18:21; 25:18)!
· Similitude of God/ Made in God’s image. James’ point is that we are made in God’s image and to be in Christ; animals are made for our use and it is our responsibility to care for them. (Gen. 1:26-28; 9:2; Prov. 12:10). Thus, we should have control and care over our own mouths and words!
· Bless...curse, the context, meaning our sinful, human nature, is inconsistent; these ideas of blessing and cursing are incongruities to each other. Perverse words, rhetoric, a curse, a battle cry, or the pronouncement of a blessing and our worship of God totally contradict, but both can come from the same source—us!
· Does a spring. James illustrates these incongruities with examples of the most common crops that were necessary for life from nature (Gen. 1:11-12, 21, 24-25). The point is that we cannot worship God authentically if we use the same mouth to curse His children!
*So then, do you fully understand the power of our words? Our tongues are two to six ounces of muscle and whether from the biggest bodybuilder to the frailest little child, they get more exercise and less control than any other muscle in our 50 lb to 350 lb body! Thus, we must be conscious of what comes out of our mouths before it comes out. Squeezing the toothpaste out is easy, but putting it back in the tube is nearly impossible. When our words come out, they are out for good! We must have them under control! How can we do this? By making sure our tongue is under a good helmsman, God (Psalm 19:14; 51:10; 141:1-4; Eccles. 3:7; Mark 12:34; Luke 6:45; 2 Cor. 6:3-10; 10:5; 11:3; Phil. 4:8; Eph. 4:8; 1 Pet. 1:13-14), and by making sure our spiritual formation is growing in Christ as Lord. When our spiritual life is growing, we will be disciplined as our unspoken words from our thoughts, and our motivations and attitudes are aligned up to His, then our spoken words and deeds will show authentic character and maturity.
Perhaps, you may think that James does not apply to you. I do not gossip or lie. But, the bottom line is to improve our relationships; thus, we have to start with how we honor and respond to our Lord and Savior! We are to respond to His precepts with our personal holiness! Because we received His grace that sanctified our heart and covered our sin, it should strike a cord within us to respond. Out of our gratitude for what He has done for us, we should be willing to strive to seek righteousness in all that we do including, and most importantly, our tongue. Our words can be the sweetness that spills unto others and be the honor and trustworthiness we earn in the hearts and minds of the people God brings into our life. Or, our words can also feverishly destroy!
We must be willing and able to check our words before they leave our lips, and to think in good terms before we speak. We have to see the destruction that can come by inflicting anger and frustration, resulting in low self-esteem, loneliness, and despair. Our words can create success or they can create failure. We all have been positively motivated by someone’s words uttered purposefully, or negatively, as a slip of the tongue is made as a mistake. Thus, if you like to use words as weapons, consider this; words have a boomerang affect. That means, what you throw out will come back to hit you. If you think you can duck them, well you cannot, because once you release those hurtful words, you cannot put them back any more than you can put the toothpaste back into the tube. They are out, and out for good.
Having trouble? Take heart, He is the One who changes us and forms our character. All we do is adoringly respond by faith and commit to His precepts. We need to think before we speak, so we are careful not to say things that could hurt someone, or cause a fight or an argument. Commit to preventing your words or body language from discouraging others. This translates that we will not ever gossip or talk negatively about others at work, school, home, church, or anywhere in the universe—period—if we claim Christ as Lord!
Remember, your words will reflect your true character! Your words have the power to change someone else’s life for the better. If you criticize others, then you will be criticized, too. If you lie to others, then you will be lied to, also. If you gossip about others, then others will gossip about you. If you cheat others, then others will cheat you. Do you see a pattern? It is a simple pattern; what you give out, you will soon get back. We have to realize deep down in our hearts and minds how powerful our words are as they shape and form both us and others around us. Words have power to destroy people’s lives, just as a spark can destroy an entire forest.
*The greatest gift you have is the ability to communicate; the greatest responsibility you have is using your ability to communicate with character and distinction within the parameters of God’s call to you!
Additional Questions:
1. What is the greatest slip of the tongue that you have experienced? What about from someone else (without naming names)? How did you feel?
2. How important is communication in your life? What happens when we communicate wrong or badly?
3. Who has control of your words, God or man? What does your tongue say about yourself to others?
4. Do you truly know the power your words have? How are the words from your mouth being used? How are your words guiding you? How are your words touching others?
5. How is teaching a responsibility we must take very seriously? What happens when a teacher is leading people astray?
6. We all make mistakes. So, what is the difference between a deliberate or premeditated sin and a mistake? How do you balance personal responsibility and the grace that God has for you?
7. Yes, gossip is fun and inviting, and it seems everyone is doing it. But, are you aware of the consequences when you misbehave with your words?
8. How and why do our words reflect our true character?
9. How is your tongue a refection of your mind and a mirror to your soul? What would it take for you to fully realize that our words are a tool at our heart’s and mind’s disposal?
10. How are your words an indication of how you are dealing with life, your spiritual growth, character, and maturity?
11. How can you make sure you are better at modeling Christ to others with your words as well as the inflection of your words?
12. What would your life look like if you were completely under God’s discipline, as in Fruit of the Spirit, with your tongue? We must have our words under control! How can we do this?
© 2004 R. J. Krejcir IntoThy Word Ministries www.intothyword.org
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
James 3:1-12
Dr. Richard J. Krejcir
Taming the Tongue!
General idea: Here is where James is slapping our face to get our attention ondiscipline so we do not fall further into judgment. Why? Because; words can get us in so much trouble, and serve both for the good of the Kingdom and the determent of the Church. Who has control of your words, God or man? Do your words reflect who you are in Christ, or does the sinful nature have it roots in you? Is wisdom guiding them, or the desire for the world’s attention? This are James’ questions to the early Church in their struggle with gossip, slander, and, a problem we all have at times—speaking before thinking (James 1: 26; 2:12; 4:1, 11-12). Words have the crucial role of communicating not only our ideas but how we are connecting with others. Thus, how we use our spoken language, as well as our body language, is of utmost importance and that we do so knowing we have been bought by Christ and we are His ambassadors (2 Cor 5:20). Our tongue must reflect our spiritual maturity and character! Our words, and the deeds that result from them, will convey to others who Christ is in us and how they should view Him. This may sound overwhelming, but it is also an honor and blessing to be called to convey His precepts, not in just preaching a sermon, but in how we live our daily life to God’s honor, demonstrated in our connections with others.
Vs. 1-5a: James first mentions, in verses 1: 19 and 26, how Jesus calls us to be wise stewards of our words (Matt. 12:33-38; Mark 7:20-23). Now, he gives further reproof. Teaching is not just a job or call; it is a responsibility we must take very seriously! The office of the teacher is perhaps the most important role in the church, and the one with the greatest responsibility. James then gives us illustrations that the tongue is small but its wake and impact can be immeasurable. God calls us to tame our tongue, and acknowledges that we do not have the ability to do so alone; however, He gives those who are in Him the ability to do so!
· Become teachers-stricter judgment. A teacher has the responsibility of the trust of the susceptible student to teach with clarity and truth. Jewish sages, who were pious, warned that wrong teaching, leading others astray, and deliberately teaching error were heinous sins, as was promoting our own desires for personal glory and position. We are held accountable for our teachings; we are to teach God’s wisdom not ours, His glory not ours (Matt. 5:19; 18:6; Rom. 14:10-12; James 3:13-18)!
· We all stumble means we all make mistakes that are not deliberate, premeditated sins. This is also a Jewish adage that we make mistakes and sin. However, as God knows we are fallible, we still have the responsibility to do our best to be wise stewards of our words.
· The human tongue, to Jewish wisdom and Scripture, is a wild and evil force as well as an instrument for good. Our heart and spiritual formation will determine the impact and outcome of our words (Prov. 11:9; 12:18; 18:21).
· Horse-bits. This representation is that great results come from small means. In an agrarian culture, the domestication of animals was essential as a source of labor, substance, and wealth. Every family unit in biblical times, except a slave or a very poor person, would have animals. This is a rhetorical question that all could understand; we can control wild animals, why not our very own tongue? Thus, our words can determine the direction of our lives and shape us for what is ahead!
· Little member. James’ point is that small devices can have great power. The tongue is nether friend or foe, yet it is a refection of our mind and a mirror to our soul. Thus, it is a tool at our heart’s and mind’s disposal! It is the indication of how we are dealing with life, our spiritual growth, our character, and our maturity.
James is telling us that those who teach have a greater responsibility in communicating effectively and we will be judged in a stricter sense due to the fact we are conveying to others His precepts. If we do it with bad intentions, or use words to put others off/down instead of lifting them up, we will be judged for it! So, how we can make sure we are better at modeling Christ to others? The key thing James brings to our attention is the discipline to exercise self control in how we use words! This is paramount, because what comes out will either lift up or destroy. The power and responsibility are ours.
Vs. 5b-12: James was attacking gossip and equating it with a devastating forest fire in a time man could do nothing but watch and see everything destroyed. Some Christians, as well as radical Jewish groups, were leading people astray by teaching violence and not reconciliation. If we do not get under His discipline, as in Fruit of the Spirit, with our tongue, we may be under God’s discipline as in Judgment. Are we aware of the consequences when we misbehave? God has grace for us, but we should never negate our responsibility (Matt. 7:16-21; 15:10-11, 17-19)!
· Kindles. The point is that a small force can ignite, become out of control, and then destroy a large area. Our words have awesome power and they can fervently destroy (Prov. 16:27-29)!
· World of iniquity/evil means the world’s evil is from the tongue. Even though Satan can get control of our tongue, he is not need to do so, as our pride, boasting, anger, bitterness, gossip, lust, slander… is just as powerful in its devastation as he!
· Defiles means evil speech such as lies, false vows, and slander as well as blasphemy and gossip. The Bible says they are all evil! A small tongue in our large body controls our direction, relationships, and all we experience in life from peace to violence; it is how we are perceived and how others react to us (Psalm 25:15, 23; 28:23; 39:1-3; 52:1-4; 57:4; 120:2-4; Prov. 16:27; 26:21).
· Hell, (Greek Gehenna) refers to the valley of Hinnom, the place where the heinous child sacrifices took place under Ahaz and Manasseh (2 Chron. 28; 33; Jer. 7:32). This was the wickedest place a Jewish mind could conceive of, and where the first century Jews burned their trash. It also refers to everlasting torment (Mark 9:43-48). It is the image of judgment. Our tongue is hurtful when it is boastful and condescending and thus will lead to the fate of those who are dammed. James is not saying gossip causes a person to go to Hell, rather it is where its concept and veracity leads, the logical conclusion. Remember, we still have grace that saves and protects.
· Tame. The tongue is harder to tame than a wild beast! Animals are made to be to be subservient; we are made to be over the animals (Rom. 3:13-14). Can we have rule over the animals but not ourselves?
· Deadly poison, as in deadly cobra venom, the most powerful illustration that could be made in this time! James is using the image of Moses’ snake, how the snakes killed and how the symbol which is the modern medical symbol today, heals (Nub. 21:6-9). This compares the uncontrolled tongue to the deadliest snake, and how our words can be of love or be a deadly toxin (Psalm 52:2; 58:1-6; 64:3; 140:3; Prov. 12:8, 18; 16:24; 18:21; 25:18)!
· Similitude of God/ Made in God’s image. James’ point is that we are made in God’s image and to be in Christ; animals are made for our use and it is our responsibility to care for them. (Gen. 1:26-28; 9:2; Prov. 12:10). Thus, we should have control and care over our own mouths and words!
· Bless...curse, the context, meaning our sinful, human nature, is inconsistent; these ideas of blessing and cursing are incongruities to each other. Perverse words, rhetoric, a curse, a battle cry, or the pronouncement of a blessing and our worship of God totally contradict, but both can come from the same source—us!
· Does a spring. James illustrates these incongruities with examples of the most common crops that were necessary for life from nature (Gen. 1:11-12, 21, 24-25). The point is that we cannot worship God authentically if we use the same mouth to curse His children!
*So then, do you fully understand the power of our words? Our tongues are two to six ounces of muscle and whether from the biggest bodybuilder to the frailest little child, they get more exercise and less control than any other muscle in our 50 lb to 350 lb body! Thus, we must be conscious of what comes out of our mouths before it comes out. Squeezing the toothpaste out is easy, but putting it back in the tube is nearly impossible. When our words come out, they are out for good! We must have them under control! How can we do this? By making sure our tongue is under a good helmsman, God (Psalm 19:14; 51:10; 141:1-4; Eccles. 3:7; Mark 12:34; Luke 6:45; 2 Cor. 6:3-10; 10:5; 11:3; Phil. 4:8; Eph. 4:8; 1 Pet. 1:13-14), and by making sure our spiritual formation is growing in Christ as Lord. When our spiritual life is growing, we will be disciplined as our unspoken words from our thoughts, and our motivations and attitudes are aligned up to His, then our spoken words and deeds will show authentic character and maturity.
Perhaps, you may think that James does not apply to you. I do not gossip or lie. But, the bottom line is to improve our relationships; thus, we have to start with how we honor and respond to our Lord and Savior! We are to respond to His precepts with our personal holiness! Because we received His grace that sanctified our heart and covered our sin, it should strike a cord within us to respond. Out of our gratitude for what He has done for us, we should be willing to strive to seek righteousness in all that we do including, and most importantly, our tongue. Our words can be the sweetness that spills unto others and be the honor and trustworthiness we earn in the hearts and minds of the people God brings into our life. Or, our words can also feverishly destroy!
We must be willing and able to check our words before they leave our lips, and to think in good terms before we speak. We have to see the destruction that can come by inflicting anger and frustration, resulting in low self-esteem, loneliness, and despair. Our words can create success or they can create failure. We all have been positively motivated by someone’s words uttered purposefully, or negatively, as a slip of the tongue is made as a mistake. Thus, if you like to use words as weapons, consider this; words have a boomerang affect. That means, what you throw out will come back to hit you. If you think you can duck them, well you cannot, because once you release those hurtful words, you cannot put them back any more than you can put the toothpaste back into the tube. They are out, and out for good.
Having trouble? Take heart, He is the One who changes us and forms our character. All we do is adoringly respond by faith and commit to His precepts. We need to think before we speak, so we are careful not to say things that could hurt someone, or cause a fight or an argument. Commit to preventing your words or body language from discouraging others. This translates that we will not ever gossip or talk negatively about others at work, school, home, church, or anywhere in the universe—period—if we claim Christ as Lord!
Remember, your words will reflect your true character! Your words have the power to change someone else’s life for the better. If you criticize others, then you will be criticized, too. If you lie to others, then you will be lied to, also. If you gossip about others, then others will gossip about you. If you cheat others, then others will cheat you. Do you see a pattern? It is a simple pattern; what you give out, you will soon get back. We have to realize deep down in our hearts and minds how powerful our words are as they shape and form both us and others around us. Words have power to destroy people’s lives, just as a spark can destroy an entire forest.
*The greatest gift you have is the ability to communicate; the greatest responsibility you have is using your ability to communicate with character and distinction within the parameters of God’s call to you!
Additional Questions:
1. What is the greatest slip of the tongue that you have experienced? What about from someone else (without naming names)? How did you feel?
2. How important is communication in your life? What happens when we communicate wrong or badly?
3. Who has control of your words, God or man? What does your tongue say about yourself to others?
4. Do you truly know the power your words have? How are the words from your mouth being used? How are your words guiding you? How are your words touching others?
5. How is teaching a responsibility we must take very seriously? What happens when a teacher is leading people astray?
6. We all make mistakes. So, what is the difference between a deliberate or premeditated sin and a mistake? How do you balance personal responsibility and the grace that God has for you?
7. Yes, gossip is fun and inviting, and it seems everyone is doing it. But, are you aware of the consequences when you misbehave with your words?
8. How and why do our words reflect our true character?
9. How is your tongue a refection of your mind and a mirror to your soul? What would it take for you to fully realize that our words are a tool at our heart’s and mind’s disposal?
10. How are your words an indication of how you are dealing with life, your spiritual growth, character, and maturity?
11. How can you make sure you are better at modeling Christ to others with your words as well as the inflection of your words?
12. What would your life look like if you were completely under God’s discipline, as in Fruit of the Spirit, with your tongue? We must have our words under control! How can we do this?
© 2004 R. J. Krejcir IntoThy Word Ministries www.intothyword.org
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
Monday, February 04, 2008
Proverbs 31
We are doing a bible study on Proverbs 31. It’s an interesting chapter to read. Most of the time people skip over the first nine verses, but that was the first chapter of our study!!!
I am posting the whole chapter in the Amplified bible because, well, it explains it a little better—it amplifies it!!
I am also including some foot notes and cross references.
So far I am enjoying this study.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proverbs 31
1 THE WORDS of Lemuel king of Massa, which his mother taught him:
2 What, my [a]son? What, son of my womb? What [shall I advise you], son of my vows and dedication to God?
3 Give not your strength to [loose] women, nor your ways to those who and that which ruin and destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink,(A)
5 Lest they drink and forget the law and what it decrees, and pervert the justice due any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, and wine to him in bitter distress of heart.
7 Let him drink and forget his poverty and [seriously] remember his want and misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the dumb [those unable to speak for themselves], for the rights of all who are left desolate and defenseless;(B)
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, and administer justice for the poor and needy.(C)
10 A capable, intelligent, and [b]virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.(D)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.
13 She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].
14 She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far [country].
15 She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.(E)
16 She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]
17 She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.
18 She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].
19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].
21 She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.(F)
22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].(G)
23 Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.(H)
24 She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!
26 She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].
27 She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.(I)
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],
29 [c]Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.
30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!(J)
Footnotes:
Proverbs 31:2 It is important to the purpose of this invaluable chapter that one realizes that it is first of all intended for young men. It is the mother's God-given task to provide youth with this information directly from its inspired source, letting them grow up with it in their consciousness.
Proverbs 31:10 It is most unfortunate that this description of God's ideal woman is usually confined in readers' minds merely to its literal sense--her ability as a homemaker, as in the picture of Martha of Bethany in Luke 10:38-42. But it is obvious that far more than that is meant. When the summary of what makes her value "far above rubies" is given (in Prov. 31:30), it is her spiritual life only that is mentioned. One can almost hear the voice of Jesus saying, "Mary has chosen the good portion... which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42).
Proverbs 31:29 "Many daughters have done... nobly and well... but you excel them all." What a glowing description here recorded of this woman in private life, this "capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman" of Prov. 31! It means she had done more than Miriam, the one who led a nation's women in praise to God (Exod. 15:20, 21); Deborah, the patriotic military advisor (Judg. 4:4-10); Ruth, the woman of constancy (Ruth 1:16); Hannah, the ideal mother (I Sam. 1:20; 2:19); the Shunammite, the hospitable woman (II Kings 4:8-10); Huldah, the woman who revealed God's secret message to national leaders (II Kings 22:14); and even more than Queen Esther, the woman who risked sacrificing her life for her people (Esth. 4:16). In what way did she "excel them all"? In her spiritual and practical devotion to God, which permeated every area and relationship of her life. All seven of the Christian virtues (II Pet. 1:5) are there, like colored threads in a tapestry. Her secret, which is open to everyone, is the Holy Spirit's climax to the story, and to this book. In Prov. 31:30, it becomes clear that the "reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord," which is "the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom" (Prov. 9:10), is put forth as the true foundation for a life which is valued by God and her husband as "far above rubies or pearls" (Prov. 31:10).
Cross references:
Proverbs 31:4 : Eccl 10:17; Hos 4:11
Proverbs 31:8 : I Sam 19:4; Esth 4:16; Job 29:15, 16
Proverbs 31:9 : Lev 19:15; Deut 1:16; Job 29:12; Isa 1:17; Jer 22:16
Proverbs 31:10 : Prov 12:4; 18:22; 19:14
Proverbs 31:15 : Job 23:12
Proverbs 31:21 : Josh 2:18, 19; Heb 9:19-22
Proverbs 31:22 : Isa 61:10; I Tim 2:9; Rev 3:5; 19:8, 14
Proverbs 31:23 : Prov 12:4
Proverbs 31:27 : I Tim 5:14; Tit 2:5
Proverbs 31:31 : Phil 4:8
I am posting the whole chapter in the Amplified bible because, well, it explains it a little better—it amplifies it!!
I am also including some foot notes and cross references.
So far I am enjoying this study.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proverbs 31
1 THE WORDS of Lemuel king of Massa, which his mother taught him:
2 What, my [a]son? What, son of my womb? What [shall I advise you], son of my vows and dedication to God?
3 Give not your strength to [loose] women, nor your ways to those who and that which ruin and destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink,(A)
5 Lest they drink and forget the law and what it decrees, and pervert the justice due any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, and wine to him in bitter distress of heart.
7 Let him drink and forget his poverty and [seriously] remember his want and misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the dumb [those unable to speak for themselves], for the rights of all who are left desolate and defenseless;(B)
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, and administer justice for the poor and needy.(C)
10 A capable, intelligent, and [b]virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.(D)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.
13 She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].
14 She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household's food from a far [country].
15 She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.(E)
16 She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]
17 She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.
18 She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].
19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].
21 She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.(F)
22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].(G)
23 Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.(H)
24 She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!
26 She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].
27 She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.(I)
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],
29 [c]Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.
30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!(J)
Footnotes:
Proverbs 31:2 It is important to the purpose of this invaluable chapter that one realizes that it is first of all intended for young men. It is the mother's God-given task to provide youth with this information directly from its inspired source, letting them grow up with it in their consciousness.
Proverbs 31:10 It is most unfortunate that this description of God's ideal woman is usually confined in readers' minds merely to its literal sense--her ability as a homemaker, as in the picture of Martha of Bethany in Luke 10:38-42. But it is obvious that far more than that is meant. When the summary of what makes her value "far above rubies" is given (in Prov. 31:30), it is her spiritual life only that is mentioned. One can almost hear the voice of Jesus saying, "Mary has chosen the good portion... which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42).
Proverbs 31:29 "Many daughters have done... nobly and well... but you excel them all." What a glowing description here recorded of this woman in private life, this "capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman" of Prov. 31! It means she had done more than Miriam, the one who led a nation's women in praise to God (Exod. 15:20, 21); Deborah, the patriotic military advisor (Judg. 4:4-10); Ruth, the woman of constancy (Ruth 1:16); Hannah, the ideal mother (I Sam. 1:20; 2:19); the Shunammite, the hospitable woman (II Kings 4:8-10); Huldah, the woman who revealed God's secret message to national leaders (II Kings 22:14); and even more than Queen Esther, the woman who risked sacrificing her life for her people (Esth. 4:16). In what way did she "excel them all"? In her spiritual and practical devotion to God, which permeated every area and relationship of her life. All seven of the Christian virtues (II Pet. 1:5) are there, like colored threads in a tapestry. Her secret, which is open to everyone, is the Holy Spirit's climax to the story, and to this book. In Prov. 31:30, it becomes clear that the "reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord," which is "the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom" (Prov. 9:10), is put forth as the true foundation for a life which is valued by God and her husband as "far above rubies or pearls" (Prov. 31:10).
Cross references:
Proverbs 31:4 : Eccl 10:17; Hos 4:11
Proverbs 31:8 : I Sam 19:4; Esth 4:16; Job 29:15, 16
Proverbs 31:9 : Lev 19:15; Deut 1:16; Job 29:12; Isa 1:17; Jer 22:16
Proverbs 31:10 : Prov 12:4; 18:22; 19:14
Proverbs 31:15 : Job 23:12
Proverbs 31:21 : Josh 2:18, 19; Heb 9:19-22
Proverbs 31:22 : Isa 61:10; I Tim 2:9; Rev 3:5; 19:8, 14
Proverbs 31:23 : Prov 12:4
Proverbs 31:27 : I Tim 5:14; Tit 2:5
Proverbs 31:31 : Phil 4:8
Superbowl update!
YAY!!! The GIANTS won. It was a fun game and a nail biter til the end.
I am glad NY won!
I am glad NY won!
Runaway train
This is one of my all time favorite songs.
It's from Soul Asylum--Grave dancer's Union
I listened to this song a lot in 1993
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep, there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else's known
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
It's from Soul Asylum--Grave dancer's Union
I listened to this song a lot in 1993
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep, there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else's known
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Sports Notes
Today is the Superbowl and we will be watching. It's just me, my husband and little guy. I've made a few yummy foods to eat tonight, appetizer type stuff. That's our dinner!!
I am hoping for the Giants to win, though I am doubtful they will win. My husband thinks the Patriots will run away with it all.
About baseball. It's my most favorite sport. I am stuck with a small market baseball team though, with owners who are dirt cheap. They just traded away our best pitcher for four big fat nobodies!! What a sweet deal.
I was telling my husband that in order to have a contending team, the owners need to fork over the money to get and keep key players. They could have offered this pitcher closer to what he was asking and he may have stayed.
It's disappointing to say the least but I refuse to be a fair weather fan. I will root root root for MY hometeam. If they win they do, if they don't they don't, but I will still watch every game this season and every season.
In just about three weeks pitchers and catchers will report for spring training!! I am excited for baseball this year. Just waiting to see what our team can do this year.
I am hoping for the Giants to win, though I am doubtful they will win. My husband thinks the Patriots will run away with it all.
About baseball. It's my most favorite sport. I am stuck with a small market baseball team though, with owners who are dirt cheap. They just traded away our best pitcher for four big fat nobodies!! What a sweet deal.
I was telling my husband that in order to have a contending team, the owners need to fork over the money to get and keep key players. They could have offered this pitcher closer to what he was asking and he may have stayed.
It's disappointing to say the least but I refuse to be a fair weather fan. I will root root root for MY hometeam. If they win they do, if they don't they don't, but I will still watch every game this season and every season.
In just about three weeks pitchers and catchers will report for spring training!! I am excited for baseball this year. Just waiting to see what our team can do this year.
A few words from Louis Armstrong.
Wonderful World
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.
I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.
************************************************
Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down
Yes lord, you know sometimes I'm almost to the ground
O yes, Lord, still
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
You got here before I do
O yes Lord, don't forget to tell all my friends I'm coming too
O yes Lord, still
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.
I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.
************************************************
Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down
Yes lord, you know sometimes I'm almost to the ground
O yes, Lord, still
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory Hallelujah
You got here before I do
O yes Lord, don't forget to tell all my friends I'm coming too
O yes Lord, still
Friday, February 01, 2008
February.....
It's the first day of February. Do you have any goals for the month??
I do.
*read at least 2 books
*crochet 4 afghans
*keep up with my Bible study. We are doing a study on Proverbs 31, it's been great so far.
*exercise regularly
*spend less time on the computer!!
I do.
*read at least 2 books
*crochet 4 afghans
*keep up with my Bible study. We are doing a study on Proverbs 31, it's been great so far.
*exercise regularly
*spend less time on the computer!!
Springsteen....
This has long been one of my favorite songs. I heard it on the way in to town this morning.
Bruce Springsteen--- Badlands
***************
Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland.
Got a head-on collision, smashin' in my guts man.
I'm caught in a crossfire that I don't understand.
But there's one thing I know for sure girl:
I don't give a damn for the same old played out scenes
I don't give a damn for just the in-betweens.
Honey I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now.
You better listen to me baby:
Talk about a dream; try to make it real.
You wake up in the night with a fear so real.
You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come.
Well don't waste your time waiting
Badlands you gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand
As the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin' till it's understood
And these badlands start treating us good
Workin' in the field till you get your back burned
Workin' `neath the wheels till you get your facts learned.
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now.
You better get it straight darling:
Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings,
And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything.
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got.
Now I believe in the love that you gave me.
I believe in the faith that could save me.
I believe in the hope and i pray that some day it
Will raise me above these
Badlands...
For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.
I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me
I wanna find one place, i wanna spit in the face of these
Badlands...
Bruce Springsteen--- Badlands
***************
Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland.
Got a head-on collision, smashin' in my guts man.
I'm caught in a crossfire that I don't understand.
But there's one thing I know for sure girl:
I don't give a damn for the same old played out scenes
I don't give a damn for just the in-betweens.
Honey I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now.
You better listen to me baby:
Talk about a dream; try to make it real.
You wake up in the night with a fear so real.
You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don't come.
Well don't waste your time waiting
Badlands you gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand
As the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin' till it's understood
And these badlands start treating us good
Workin' in the field till you get your back burned
Workin' `neath the wheels till you get your facts learned.
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now.
You better get it straight darling:
Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings,
And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything.
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got.
Now I believe in the love that you gave me.
I believe in the faith that could save me.
I believe in the hope and i pray that some day it
Will raise me above these
Badlands...
For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.
I wanna find one face that ain't looking through me
I wanna find one place, i wanna spit in the face of these
Badlands...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thankful Thursday
Today I am thankful for
*my mom
*bright sunny days
*the ability to read
*to be able to pray to a living God
*healthy children
*for friends I have met along the way, both IRL and on the internet.
I know that friends are in our lives for a season and for a reason. There is something to be gained from each friendship we have no matter how short or long that friendship may be.
*my mom
*bright sunny days
*the ability to read
*to be able to pray to a living God
*healthy children
*for friends I have met along the way, both IRL and on the internet.
I know that friends are in our lives for a season and for a reason. There is something to be gained from each friendship we have no matter how short or long that friendship may be.
Grandma...........
Three years ago today my dear sweet Grandma died. I still miss her everyday.
We were very close throughout my whole life.
This August would have marked her 100th birthday. She was rarely sick in her lifetime and it was only toward the very end that her health was bad.
In her latter years she had dementia and Alzheimers. It was sad to see her decline but I am ever grateful to have had her in my life for so many years!
There should come a day where it isn't so sad, but I don't quite know when that will be or if I will ever stop writing about it.
We were very close throughout my whole life.
This August would have marked her 100th birthday. She was rarely sick in her lifetime and it was only toward the very end that her health was bad.
In her latter years she had dementia and Alzheimers. It was sad to see her decline but I am ever grateful to have had her in my life for so many years!
There should come a day where it isn't so sad, but I don't quite know when that will be or if I will ever stop writing about it.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
O Jerusalem
Tonight for some reason I am remembering my trip to Israel in 1999, It was June and we went for six days only. I could spend forever there!! We did a lot in 6 days.
The weather was beautiful. Most of the food was wonderful, the almonds and baklava were the best I have ever had, and the company was great.
Dh and I went with about 5 others from the church we were currently at.
It was magnificient to be there. We went to and Mt Ebal, above Shechem, Jacobs well, The Dead sea, the wailing wall, The temple mount, Jericho, Masada and the Old city, We stayed on the Mt of Olives and prayed at the garden of Gethsemane. The very last day we went to Yad Vashem. I am thankful we waited til the last day--it was a very solemn experience. I cried a lot and most especially at the childrens part. It was a packed visit.
I even rode a camel near Jericho. There was a young boy with his camel and I asked if I could ride it, he said yes!! I screamed! A camel is NOT like a horse, it's gait is not smooth at all.
There was a Russian woman at the Dead sea and we carried on a conversation. It was funny because I was wearing shorts and a t shirt to swim in and she was telling me to take off my shorts and t shirt and swim only in a bra and underwear!! The dead sea is oily. But you can float in it and you can see Jordan from the sea.
Near Jericho, we saw the Monastery of Temptation. It was an incredible visit.
Masada was very interesting. Very high up.
I would go back to Israel in a minute.
The weather was beautiful. Most of the food was wonderful, the almonds and baklava were the best I have ever had, and the company was great.
Dh and I went with about 5 others from the church we were currently at.
It was magnificient to be there. We went to and Mt Ebal, above Shechem, Jacobs well, The Dead sea, the wailing wall, The temple mount, Jericho, Masada and the Old city, We stayed on the Mt of Olives and prayed at the garden of Gethsemane. The very last day we went to Yad Vashem. I am thankful we waited til the last day--it was a very solemn experience. I cried a lot and most especially at the childrens part. It was a packed visit.
I even rode a camel near Jericho. There was a young boy with his camel and I asked if I could ride it, he said yes!! I screamed! A camel is NOT like a horse, it's gait is not smooth at all.
There was a Russian woman at the Dead sea and we carried on a conversation. It was funny because I was wearing shorts and a t shirt to swim in and she was telling me to take off my shorts and t shirt and swim only in a bra and underwear!! The dead sea is oily. But you can float in it and you can see Jordan from the sea.
Near Jericho, we saw the Monastery of Temptation. It was an incredible visit.
Masada was very interesting. Very high up.
I would go back to Israel in a minute.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Well said.
My friend recently posted this and I am posting it with her permission since she said so perfectly how I feel too. She is not only my online friend but a friend I met in real life. I know these are HER words, but these words sum up my feelings perfectly. This is the perfect post to the feelings of many, I believe.
"I went through the addresses of people I'd met online. I realized how many people were my friends. How many weren't. How many were there for a season and nothing more. And, of course, I was sad.
I realized, again, how many people gave me support and kind words to help me through my journey in life. I realized, again, how much of it was lies. Some of those people I'd have done anything for. And, I just can't get past how it all fell apart like a house of cards.
Since my favorite online "home" fell apart, I'm still feeling lost. I still haven't found something to replace it. All those personalities (good and bad) went in many separate directions. Everyone had their part to play, again--good and bad. Everyone was a part of that "home."
Someone said that online life isn't *real* life. But that person is wrong. Just as in *real* life, there are liars, cheaters, good people, bad people, evil people...the same is true about internet life. There are people to whom you bond and with whom you form friendships. There are people you can't stand. There are people who are quiet and whom I never really got to know until it was all ending and then I realized what I missed or didn't miss when I had the opportunity to chat more.
My heart is still broken over the splits. There are people I'd love to reach out to but it seems as though sides have been chosen and I'm on the opposing team. These are people I'll probably never get the chance to speak with again and while I want to be OK with that, it still hurts. I want to clear the air with them but I'm on the opposing team. I'm the enemy by default.
There are people who swayed me one way or another and now I'm realizing we were all wrong. There are people who were lied to and now hate all the people who *should* be trusted. And some of these people on all sides were right/wrong/indifferent and for many reasons. It's like reading a novel about secret agents where it ends in a way you can't expect because surely, the good guys are the good guys and the bad guys are the bad guys.
And, as I erased the names from my computer that I really don't need to speak to again, I still felt a twinge. Because I can remember when that person reached out during a crisis and helped me get through it. But they were just double agents playing both sides of the fence to keep that drama-free facade in place."
"I went through the addresses of people I'd met online. I realized how many people were my friends. How many weren't. How many were there for a season and nothing more. And, of course, I was sad.
I realized, again, how many people gave me support and kind words to help me through my journey in life. I realized, again, how much of it was lies. Some of those people I'd have done anything for. And, I just can't get past how it all fell apart like a house of cards.
Since my favorite online "home" fell apart, I'm still feeling lost. I still haven't found something to replace it. All those personalities (good and bad) went in many separate directions. Everyone had their part to play, again--good and bad. Everyone was a part of that "home."
Someone said that online life isn't *real* life. But that person is wrong. Just as in *real* life, there are liars, cheaters, good people, bad people, evil people...the same is true about internet life. There are people to whom you bond and with whom you form friendships. There are people you can't stand. There are people who are quiet and whom I never really got to know until it was all ending and then I realized what I missed or didn't miss when I had the opportunity to chat more.
My heart is still broken over the splits. There are people I'd love to reach out to but it seems as though sides have been chosen and I'm on the opposing team. These are people I'll probably never get the chance to speak with again and while I want to be OK with that, it still hurts. I want to clear the air with them but I'm on the opposing team. I'm the enemy by default.
There are people who swayed me one way or another and now I'm realizing we were all wrong. There are people who were lied to and now hate all the people who *should* be trusted. And some of these people on all sides were right/wrong/indifferent and for many reasons. It's like reading a novel about secret agents where it ends in a way you can't expect because surely, the good guys are the good guys and the bad guys are the bad guys.
And, as I erased the names from my computer that I really don't need to speak to again, I still felt a twinge. Because I can remember when that person reached out during a crisis and helped me get through it. But they were just double agents playing both sides of the fence to keep that drama-free facade in place."
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Blankets for the Gulf
I found this organization on my crochet board. It provides handmade blankets for the victims of Katrina! I was surprised that there were still so many people in need.
I have been involved with this organization for about 6 months now and I received another request for three blankets. these three are for an elderly woman, her grown niece and the niece's son. I hope they like the afghans. THIS is why I crochet and give my blankets away. (just in case anyone is wondering!)
The blankets are generally about 40x60 inches. That would be about 3 1/2 feet by 5 feet though they are longer than five feet.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Yesterday once more.............
When I was young
I'd listened to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well
Looking back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed
All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more
I'd listened to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well
Looking back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed
All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more
Regrets...
Do you have regrets in your life??
I do. I have many regrets. Mostly they are actions and reactions I never ever would do or have today.
But, I believe that our life experiences form who we are. Our character, our integrity, our beliefs, our compassion toward others. I believe our experiences can change us for the good and the bad.
Would I change things? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I can regret my mistakes, and I can come to terms with my mistakes and regrets, but I believe they also mold who and what we are.
I do know that if some of the situations that happened when I was younger hadn't happened, that I wouldn't be living the life that I am living now.
I am thankful I made it through my life experiences to be where I am today.
I do. I have many regrets. Mostly they are actions and reactions I never ever would do or have today.
But, I believe that our life experiences form who we are. Our character, our integrity, our beliefs, our compassion toward others. I believe our experiences can change us for the good and the bad.
Would I change things? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I can regret my mistakes, and I can come to terms with my mistakes and regrets, but I believe they also mold who and what we are.
I do know that if some of the situations that happened when I was younger hadn't happened, that I wouldn't be living the life that I am living now.
I am thankful I made it through my life experiences to be where I am today.
Friday, January 25, 2008
A Time...................................
This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible.
Ecclesiastes 3
Everything Has Its Time
1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3
Everything Has Its Time
1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thankful Thursday...
The idea for Thankful Thursday comes from Bethany at Raindrops and Rainbows.
Thankyou Bethany!!
Today I am thankful for
*my husband-he is a wonderful daddy, partner and provider
*my daughter- who was a blessing to me in my youth and continues to be a blessing
*my son- who is a blessing as I age
*my mother for remaining healthy in her old age
*my friends--for listening and just being there
Psalm 150:6
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!
Thankyou Bethany!!
Today I am thankful for
*my husband-he is a wonderful daddy, partner and provider
*my daughter- who was a blessing to me in my youth and continues to be a blessing
*my son- who is a blessing as I age
*my mother for remaining healthy in her old age
*my friends--for listening and just being there
Psalm 150:6
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!
Ebay blankets
Not really though. My daughter was over this morning and I told her that some women were accusing me of buying blankets and giving them away instead of making them myself. She was shocked that people would think that.
Really, why would I buy over 100 baby blankets to give away??
Is that totally ridiculous or what??
Could it be that I enjoy crocheting and giving blankets as gifts? For doing that I was called a freak and attention seeker. Some of these women I had even met in real life AND they were women that received blankets for their children!! It's just stunning to me the degree of hate some people can have.
All I can do is pray for them, and I do!!
I don't do much but I love to crochet. It's just that simple!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
On being let down.......
Have you ever been let down? With a friend or a family member?
I just feel so very disappointed right now. Just let down and abandoned.
I am weary of childish games being played with people. I am weary of misunderstandings, of saying one thing but really meaning another thing but not saying it. Of not having the whole story and assumptions.
I am weary of imagined competition.
I just wish people would take responsibility for their actions and reactions. A person can only play the victim so much before it is not believable anymore.
It's so hard not to take offense at every single thing. I know that is something I work on everyday.
This type of disappointment just takes the joy out of everything. It's no fun at all.
I just feel so very disappointed right now. Just let down and abandoned.
I am weary of childish games being played with people. I am weary of misunderstandings, of saying one thing but really meaning another thing but not saying it. Of not having the whole story and assumptions.
I am weary of imagined competition.
I just wish people would take responsibility for their actions and reactions. A person can only play the victim so much before it is not believable anymore.
It's so hard not to take offense at every single thing. I know that is something I work on everyday.
This type of disappointment just takes the joy out of everything. It's no fun at all.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thirty-five years ago..............
On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court legalized abortion.
It was a sad day in our history.
It has changed millions of lives.
It was a sad day in our history.
It has changed millions of lives.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Memorial Blankets
I made another memorial blanket for a woman that I know that lost a baby before term.
This one is a little bigger than I normally make but not much. The color is actually the baby pink color. The lighting was terrible for that pic.
I find it sad that I even make these tiny blankets but I am hopeful they bring some amount of comfort.
My Mom
My mom will be 80 years old this summer. I am her only daughter. She has four sons and then me.
Last year sometime she started talking about moving out of her condo. she loves her place. Had it redecorated finally and it's her home. She has lived there about 16 years. My dad lived there too but he died in 1996.
Mom started to talk about how expensive it would be to move to another place, like really really expensive considering her condo is totally paid for so all she pays are association fees and utilities. After some more talking and a bit of prodding, it came out that she is having a hard time cleaning her place. You know, scrubbing floors and vacuuming, dusting etc.
So, I immediately told her I could come every two weeks on a Saturday to clean her house, more often if she needed it, and I could see the burden lifting off her shoulders! Really, she heaved a sigh of relief because she didn't really want to move.
So every two weeks I go over there and clean. She does her bathrooms and dusts and I do the rest. It doesn't take long and it's fun. Sometimes my daughter comes with and helps and my husband stays home with the boy.
We talk, sometimes we have lunch, and lately I have been there all day while we identify very old family pictures and the people in them.
It's been fun too. It's absolutely no big deal for me to do this and I get a few hours of "me" time. It's a good thing I don't mind cleaning. And I am glad to be able to do it and help her stay in her own place. Se's in pretty good shape for her age too, which I am grateful for.
Last year sometime she started talking about moving out of her condo. she loves her place. Had it redecorated finally and it's her home. She has lived there about 16 years. My dad lived there too but he died in 1996.
Mom started to talk about how expensive it would be to move to another place, like really really expensive considering her condo is totally paid for so all she pays are association fees and utilities. After some more talking and a bit of prodding, it came out that she is having a hard time cleaning her place. You know, scrubbing floors and vacuuming, dusting etc.
So, I immediately told her I could come every two weeks on a Saturday to clean her house, more often if she needed it, and I could see the burden lifting off her shoulders! Really, she heaved a sigh of relief because she didn't really want to move.
So every two weeks I go over there and clean. She does her bathrooms and dusts and I do the rest. It doesn't take long and it's fun. Sometimes my daughter comes with and helps and my husband stays home with the boy.
We talk, sometimes we have lunch, and lately I have been there all day while we identify very old family pictures and the people in them.
It's been fun too. It's absolutely no big deal for me to do this and I get a few hours of "me" time. It's a good thing I don't mind cleaning. And I am glad to be able to do it and help her stay in her own place. Se's in pretty good shape for her age too, which I am grateful for.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Closings.........Final Thoughts
A message board that I used to frequent is closing. Today is the last day. I cannot say my goodbyes on the board so I am doing it here.
This board was started almost 3 years ago as an offshoot of another board that was much bigger. So I have known some of those women since 2001 when I joined the first board.
I went through my pregnancy and birth and first years of my sons life with these women. We shared intimate details of our lives and our struggles with PCOS and our struggles to raise our babies.
We met. We had two huge Wisconsin Dells meet ups and I met some of the women individually.
I cannot assume to know why the board is closing but I certainly have a very good idea why it is all happening. Sadly, I played a role in the board closing.
I will miss all of the women too. Yes, I said all. They each had their own wonderful personalities and that is what made the board a success.
I have learned a great deal throughout all of this. I have mostly learned that you can't assume anything in life and you really need the whole story, and not just one side, or your own side of the story.
People I thought were friends all along, weren't really.
The whole situation saddens me a great deal. I have not been part of that community for about a month now. I am deeply saddened by the whole incident and most espsecially the board closing, it was a very close knit community.
I will always be thankful for the season I spent on the board and the friendships I gained and the knowledge learned.
I will remember the board and the women with a smile.
This board was started almost 3 years ago as an offshoot of another board that was much bigger. So I have known some of those women since 2001 when I joined the first board.
I went through my pregnancy and birth and first years of my sons life with these women. We shared intimate details of our lives and our struggles with PCOS and our struggles to raise our babies.
We met. We had two huge Wisconsin Dells meet ups and I met some of the women individually.
I cannot assume to know why the board is closing but I certainly have a very good idea why it is all happening. Sadly, I played a role in the board closing.
I will miss all of the women too. Yes, I said all. They each had their own wonderful personalities and that is what made the board a success.
I have learned a great deal throughout all of this. I have mostly learned that you can't assume anything in life and you really need the whole story, and not just one side, or your own side of the story.
People I thought were friends all along, weren't really.
The whole situation saddens me a great deal. I have not been part of that community for about a month now. I am deeply saddened by the whole incident and most espsecially the board closing, it was a very close knit community.
I will always be thankful for the season I spent on the board and the friendships I gained and the knowledge learned.
I will remember the board and the women with a smile.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Stalkers on the internet.
I have an internet stalker. I am pretty sure this person is harmless.
I recently joined a message board under another name and this "stalker" found me there.
It's a little discomforting to know that this person found me there.
But I can live with it. I have nothing to hide. Most of the members have taken different names for various reasons.
I recently joined a message board under another name and this "stalker" found me there.
It's a little discomforting to know that this person found me there.
But I can live with it. I have nothing to hide. Most of the members have taken different names for various reasons.
A Poem
This was posted by my friend Bethany at a message board.
If - By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
__________________
If - By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
__________________
Saturday, January 12, 2008
A fitting Bible verse for today
Matthew 10:16
Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Did someone mention Yarn again??
I guess it was me. I made an order of cotton yarn and I received it yesterday. It is beautiful and it was on a great sale. I couldn't resist. I really enjoy working with cotton yarn but it is hard on my hands.
It's called Buttercream. It is a variegated yellow. From pale yellow to a rich golden yellow. It is beautiful. It also has white in it and I bought white cotton yarn to make the second strand for the blanket.
I purchased enough to make at least two baby blankets. Maybe a third smaller one.
Don't know when I will get to them but I will make a post when I complete a blanket.
It's called Buttercream. It is a variegated yellow. From pale yellow to a rich golden yellow. It is beautiful. It also has white in it and I bought white cotton yarn to make the second strand for the blanket.
I purchased enough to make at least two baby blankets. Maybe a third smaller one.
Don't know when I will get to them but I will make a post when I complete a blanket.
I am Invisible
This is from Shannon on a message board I visit. Not sure where she found it but I like it.
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the
phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't
you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm
on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing
on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you
fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer,
"What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right
around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and
the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa
cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again.
She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back
from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the
hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare
and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.. My
unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, " I brought you this. "
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With
admiration for the greatness of w hat you are building when
no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I
would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending s o much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right no w what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, no t only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
author unknown
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the
phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't
you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm
on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing
on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you
fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer,
"What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right
around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and
the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa
cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again.
She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back
from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the
hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare
and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.. My
unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, " I brought you this. "
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With
admiration for the greatness of w hat you are building when
no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I
would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending s o much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right no w what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, no t only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
author unknown
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Preschool
My little guy is in pre school two days a week and he really likes school.
They go outside when the weather is nice here.
Today they went out and I got to school a bit early to pick him up and the class was walking in from outside.
Here they come down the hall in a caterpillar, it's so cute. I spot my little guy in his jacket and hat and NO mittens!! I know he had mittens when I dropped them off because I stuffed them into his hat then into his jacket sleeve. Isn't that what everyone does??
So he walks by me and says "no gloves mom" and holds up his little hands. I thought that is odd, since his mitties were in his hat. I see his hat on his head and I can tell the mitties are still in his hat!!!
There is a student teacher and I think she is young. She told me she had to put her gloves on his hands while they were outside!! I thought it was just odd that no one checked his hat for his mitties.
I asked the other parents if they put the mitties inthe hats and they all said yes!
Oh well, at least it wasn't too cold out and it was cute seeing the little ones walk in their line into class.
They go outside when the weather is nice here.
Today they went out and I got to school a bit early to pick him up and the class was walking in from outside.
Here they come down the hall in a caterpillar, it's so cute. I spot my little guy in his jacket and hat and NO mittens!! I know he had mittens when I dropped them off because I stuffed them into his hat then into his jacket sleeve. Isn't that what everyone does??
So he walks by me and says "no gloves mom" and holds up his little hands. I thought that is odd, since his mitties were in his hat. I see his hat on his head and I can tell the mitties are still in his hat!!!
There is a student teacher and I think she is young. She told me she had to put her gloves on his hands while they were outside!! I thought it was just odd that no one checked his hat for his mitties.
I asked the other parents if they put the mitties inthe hats and they all said yes!
Oh well, at least it wasn't too cold out and it was cute seeing the little ones walk in their line into class.
Monday, January 07, 2008
It's got to stop
Or does it??
My husband came home relatively early from work today which is a treat.
We went shopping. Guess what I bought?? YARN!! Again. It was on sale and there were two colors I have never seen before. I bought 36 skeins this time. That's enough for SIX blankets.
I don't buy a lot of clothes, I don't wear much jewelry, other than my wedding/engagement ring, my anniversary ring and my necklace. I don't spend a lot of money on much of anything really. My vice these days is yarn. If there is a good sale, how can I pass it up? It gets used too. And it's a good hobby to have.
Now all I need is a yarn room in my house.
My husband came home relatively early from work today which is a treat.
We went shopping. Guess what I bought?? YARN!! Again. It was on sale and there were two colors I have never seen before. I bought 36 skeins this time. That's enough for SIX blankets.
I don't buy a lot of clothes, I don't wear much jewelry, other than my wedding/engagement ring, my anniversary ring and my necklace. I don't spend a lot of money on much of anything really. My vice these days is yarn. If there is a good sale, how can I pass it up? It gets used too. And it's a good hobby to have.
Now all I need is a yarn room in my house.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Yarn............
Yeah, yeah, I know.
About 6 years or so ago, I received some lime green cotton yarn from the local coordinators of Project Linus. It was LIME green yarn. It was atrocious. But who am I to turn down free yarn?? I made many many blankets with this yarn. MANY blankets. I used white with it and made all lime green blankets. I got very tired of this yarn.
So, I gave a lot of it to my best friend and crochet buddy Kim. Kim has made many many blankets with this yarn.
I asked her recently if she had any left and lo and behold she did!!!
So I asked her for enough to make a blanket and she actually had enough and then some.
I can't even tell you how many skeins of this yarn I gave to her, but it was a lot of yarn.
I had to order the accompanying yarn I want to use with it so it will be a few weeks before I am able to work on it but I am excited to make this blanket!! Can you believe that?
Oh, it is one of Kim's favorite colors and she made a beautiful blanket with it. I am using the same second colors that she used so it should be a pretty blanket. I hope.
I will post a picture of it when it is done. This link has the completed blanket
http://pj-countryroads.blogspot.com/2008/02/lemony-lime-blanket.html
About 6 years or so ago, I received some lime green cotton yarn from the local coordinators of Project Linus. It was LIME green yarn. It was atrocious. But who am I to turn down free yarn?? I made many many blankets with this yarn. MANY blankets. I used white with it and made all lime green blankets. I got very tired of this yarn.
So, I gave a lot of it to my best friend and crochet buddy Kim. Kim has made many many blankets with this yarn.
I asked her recently if she had any left and lo and behold she did!!!
So I asked her for enough to make a blanket and she actually had enough and then some.
I can't even tell you how many skeins of this yarn I gave to her, but it was a lot of yarn.
I had to order the accompanying yarn I want to use with it so it will be a few weeks before I am able to work on it but I am excited to make this blanket!! Can you believe that?
Oh, it is one of Kim's favorite colors and she made a beautiful blanket with it. I am using the same second colors that she used so it should be a pretty blanket. I hope.
I will post a picture of it when it is done. This link has the completed blanket
http://pj-countryroads.blogspot.com/2008/02/lemony-lime-blanket.html
Of wills and my mom
What a very unpleasant but very needed topic. My husband and I really need to make some provisions for our family too.
My mom is nearing 80 years old and her will is dated from 1981. My dad died in 1996.
She has five children. She needs to update her will.
I go to my moms every two weeks to clean her house and we usually have lunch and go through some family pictures. It's been interesting.
Today after cleaning we read her will and talked about some changes she would like to make. I wrote down the changes and additions she would like. I will type it up and she will take her will and the new things to her lawyer and have a new will drawn up.
It's just something she knows needs to be done and I am just trying to help her.
My mom is nearing 80 years old and her will is dated from 1981. My dad died in 1996.
She has five children. She needs to update her will.
I go to my moms every two weeks to clean her house and we usually have lunch and go through some family pictures. It's been interesting.
Today after cleaning we read her will and talked about some changes she would like to make. I wrote down the changes and additions she would like. I will type it up and she will take her will and the new things to her lawyer and have a new will drawn up.
It's just something she knows needs to be done and I am just trying to help her.
Neti pots..........
I finally bought one. It works. It is supposed to change the pH in your sinus cavaties and get rid of the bacteria to help you have a healthy nose.
I just used it for the first time and it felt good!!
I told my mom about it and she even knew what I was talking about!! she said "that's an old time thing".
I just used it for the first time and it felt good!!
I told my mom about it and she even knew what I was talking about!! she said "that's an old time thing".
Monday, December 31, 2007
From Charles Spurgeon
"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it."
Happy New Year!!!
Another year gone by. I don't have "resolutions" so much as things I want to accomplish in the new year.
One thing I would like to do is read more. That's a big one for me this coming year.
I hope you all have a great year to come.
One thing I would like to do is read more. That's a big one for me this coming year.
I hope you all have a great year to come.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
End of the year thoughts............
2007 is almost done. it's been a pretty good year for me and my family. My daughter is in a good apartment and went to school to become a CNA with her sites on a nursing degree. She really loves being a CNA.
My boy is growing and doing new things everyday.
My husband has had some challenges with his job but he is overcoming them.
My brothers and their families are doing well too.
My mom is doing well, though she is approaching 80 years old. I go over to her house every 2 weeks to clean her house and some days when I go over we go through pictures to identify my relatives.
I have become interested in tracing my family and have 5 generations so far. With pictures!! I have an online friend helping me too--she is very knowledgable about searching for relatives.
We bought a treadmill this year. Last year it was an elliptical which I love, but I want the treadmill so I can train for running! So I have the requisite New years resolution to exercise more!! And with that of course is losing weight.
I also plan on reading more this year. It has taken a backseat with me because of my eyesite, but I now have some good reading glasses.
Also on the list is more crocheting for Charities. I have less "friends" to crochet baby blankets for now and I would like to step up my Charity donations.
The one sad thing this year is the betrayal of friends from my online community that I have been part of for years. I've learned that a person can never know the full story on anything unless all parties involved are sharing their "side" of the story.
I had one friend in particular that I trusted with some very private information and she felt the need to share that information with others, that resulted in some hurtful things being said. Some of it was gossip I admit. My tongue got the better of me. There is no excuse. I guess it just proves that you cannot trust everybody, even those you thought you could. So, I have virtually lost a ton of friends that I shared my life with through this incident. It just saddens me. Part of the issue I believe is that with communication through the computer, that the nuances, tone etc is NOT communicated and can lead to misunderstandings.
We also took a trip to Annapolis this fall for my husbands college reunion at the Naval Academy. I met up with some women from the above mentioned online community and it was a wonderful time of chatting and meeting in person.
I am looking forward to 2008 and the rewards and challenges it may bring. I wish you all well in the New Year!!
My boy is growing and doing new things everyday.
My husband has had some challenges with his job but he is overcoming them.
My brothers and their families are doing well too.
My mom is doing well, though she is approaching 80 years old. I go over to her house every 2 weeks to clean her house and some days when I go over we go through pictures to identify my relatives.
I have become interested in tracing my family and have 5 generations so far. With pictures!! I have an online friend helping me too--she is very knowledgable about searching for relatives.
We bought a treadmill this year. Last year it was an elliptical which I love, but I want the treadmill so I can train for running! So I have the requisite New years resolution to exercise more!! And with that of course is losing weight.
I also plan on reading more this year. It has taken a backseat with me because of my eyesite, but I now have some good reading glasses.
Also on the list is more crocheting for Charities. I have less "friends" to crochet baby blankets for now and I would like to step up my Charity donations.
The one sad thing this year is the betrayal of friends from my online community that I have been part of for years. I've learned that a person can never know the full story on anything unless all parties involved are sharing their "side" of the story.
I had one friend in particular that I trusted with some very private information and she felt the need to share that information with others, that resulted in some hurtful things being said. Some of it was gossip I admit. My tongue got the better of me. There is no excuse. I guess it just proves that you cannot trust everybody, even those you thought you could. So, I have virtually lost a ton of friends that I shared my life with through this incident. It just saddens me. Part of the issue I believe is that with communication through the computer, that the nuances, tone etc is NOT communicated and can lead to misunderstandings.
We also took a trip to Annapolis this fall for my husbands college reunion at the Naval Academy. I met up with some women from the above mentioned online community and it was a wonderful time of chatting and meeting in person.
I am looking forward to 2008 and the rewards and challenges it may bring. I wish you all well in the New Year!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sweaters!
I made these sweaters plus one more, it's a green color. I have been wanting to make sweaters to send to a charity for 10 yrs and I have finally done it.
The four sweaters are going to Guideposts sweaters for orphans. Scroll down to the info about sweaters!
http://www.dailyguideposts.com/help/volunteer.asp
Friday, December 14, 2007
Two Years!!
It has been two years since I quit smoking! I quit cold turkey because I was just tired of smoking.
It's been good too. I have been exercising and I am working on starting to run!! I can finally breathe and it feels great. I don't wheeze anymore, or smell, or have to go outside in the cold anymore to smoke!!
It's been good!
It's been good too. I have been exercising and I am working on starting to run!! I can finally breathe and it feels great. I don't wheeze anymore, or smell, or have to go outside in the cold anymore to smoke!!
It's been good!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Treadmills and Ellipticals
Last December I talked dh into getting me an Elliptical machine to exercise on at home. He was leary, with good reason. Years ago I asked for a treadmill and it became a clothes hanger. We donated it to a couple at church and that was that.
Well, I quit smoking and I wanted to exercise and I wanted to be able to do it at home since the boy is so little yet.
So I got the elliptical and I LOVE it. I used it every other day from January of this year til May when it was nice enough to exercise outside. Then dh and the little guy and I went bike riding. I think my husband was pleasantly surprised that I actually used the thing too.
Now I wanted a Treadmill because I get bored on the Elliptical and need a little variety. So my sweetie got me a treadmill!! It was delivered on Wednesday and I am liking it. Has lots of cool functions and a variety of workout levels.
My ultimate goal is to be able to do my C25K training this winter so that in the spring when the weather is nice, I can run outside.
And it wouldn't hurt to get back into shape and lose some weight!!
Well, I quit smoking and I wanted to exercise and I wanted to be able to do it at home since the boy is so little yet.
So I got the elliptical and I LOVE it. I used it every other day from January of this year til May when it was nice enough to exercise outside. Then dh and the little guy and I went bike riding. I think my husband was pleasantly surprised that I actually used the thing too.
Now I wanted a Treadmill because I get bored on the Elliptical and need a little variety. So my sweetie got me a treadmill!! It was delivered on Wednesday and I am liking it. Has lots of cool functions and a variety of workout levels.
My ultimate goal is to be able to do my C25K training this winter so that in the spring when the weather is nice, I can run outside.
And it wouldn't hurt to get back into shape and lose some weight!!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
November 24, 2007.........
It's November 24th again. That means it's my Aunts Birthday again.
Except she isn't here to celebrate anymore. It's been 3 and 1/2 yrs since she died now and I still miss her daily.
I wonder if it will be any easier as the yrs go by? It's still hard and I still miss her.
I went to visit my cousin in October. My Aunts daughter. How silly of me but I drove by the house I used to visit and stay at when I visited with her. I didn't really cry then, but when my cousin asked if I had driven by the house, that is when I started crying!!
It has to get easier doesn't it?
Except she isn't here to celebrate anymore. It's been 3 and 1/2 yrs since she died now and I still miss her daily.
I wonder if it will be any easier as the yrs go by? It's still hard and I still miss her.
I went to visit my cousin in October. My Aunts daughter. How silly of me but I drove by the house I used to visit and stay at when I visited with her. I didn't really cry then, but when my cousin asked if I had driven by the house, that is when I started crying!!
It has to get easier doesn't it?
Veterans Day.
Seems I missed it in my blog this year.
I am a veteran. I did not serve during a war. But I am still a veteran. It took me a long time to accept that. But as my dh says, "you signed up and served and were ready to serve during a war". And he's right. I am a veteran.
My husband is a veteran too. He served during war time.
My brother is a veteran too. He served during VietNam.
My brother in law is a vet too. So was my FIL, he served during Korea.
My Dad served during World War 2.
My cousin Lisa is a vet too. So was her brother Billy.
My other cousin Steve is a vet too. So is his brother, my other cousin Billy.
All branches of the Armed forces are represented in our families except the Marine Corps. with the Army overwhelmingly represented. (GO ARMY!!)
I am thankful to all the service men and women that have served and our serving today. It means my freedom, and for that, I am thankful.
I am THANKFUL.
I am a veteran. I did not serve during a war. But I am still a veteran. It took me a long time to accept that. But as my dh says, "you signed up and served and were ready to serve during a war". And he's right. I am a veteran.
My husband is a veteran too. He served during war time.
My brother is a veteran too. He served during VietNam.
My brother in law is a vet too. So was my FIL, he served during Korea.
My Dad served during World War 2.
My cousin Lisa is a vet too. So was her brother Billy.
My other cousin Steve is a vet too. So is his brother, my other cousin Billy.
All branches of the Armed forces are represented in our families except the Marine Corps. with the Army overwhelmingly represented. (GO ARMY!!)
I am thankful to all the service men and women that have served and our serving today. It means my freedom, and for that, I am thankful.
I am THANKFUL.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thanksgiving.
I hosted this year. I live in a small house and have 4 brothers and their families.
One brother and his family couldn't make it so there were only 18 of us this year. My mom and Mother in law were here too.
I was a bit apprehensive about the whole dinner but much to my amazement we had a wonderful time.
Each family brought the designated food items and Dh smoked two turkeys. We had plenty of food and there were plenty of leftovers for people to take home too.
It was a very enjoyable day.
Today I am thankful for my family. And remembering the family members that are no longer with us.
We did not go shopping today. Neither of us are shoppers.
I cleaned my mom's house today and actually dh and ds went to a couple of stores.
Dh also got a new laptop computer from Best buy. But he was in and out in 15 minutes!!! That's how we shop, we are very efficient!!
One brother and his family couldn't make it so there were only 18 of us this year. My mom and Mother in law were here too.
I was a bit apprehensive about the whole dinner but much to my amazement we had a wonderful time.
Each family brought the designated food items and Dh smoked two turkeys. We had plenty of food and there were plenty of leftovers for people to take home too.
It was a very enjoyable day.
Today I am thankful for my family. And remembering the family members that are no longer with us.
We did not go shopping today. Neither of us are shoppers.
I cleaned my mom's house today and actually dh and ds went to a couple of stores.
Dh also got a new laptop computer from Best buy. But he was in and out in 15 minutes!!! That's how we shop, we are very efficient!!
Yarn.......
In the past couple of weeks I have come across some great yarn bargains.
Actually, my husband found the first huge bargain.
Our local pharmacy--gift shop type store was selling most of their yarn stock at half price!! We bought 65 skeins that day. It will make some nice blankets.
Then Joann's had a great coupon sale. I bought 42 more skeins and used coupons worth 20 dollars off. It was a great deal and it was fun to pick out that yarn.
Actually, my husband found the first huge bargain.
Our local pharmacy--gift shop type store was selling most of their yarn stock at half price!! We bought 65 skeins that day. It will make some nice blankets.
Then Joann's had a great coupon sale. I bought 42 more skeins and used coupons worth 20 dollars off. It was a great deal and it was fun to pick out that yarn.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Crochet and Charity
A whole new world has opened up to me since I found my crochet message board!
I have made so many new afghans and learned so many new stitches too. There is a section on the board for Charity projects too. There is always a charity to give to, or someone needing squares for a comfortghan.
One of the first projects I donated to was sadly, the Virginia Tech killings. I made 33 granny squares for the project.
You can read more about it here, just scroll down a bit:
http://mosaicyarnshop.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html
There are other organizations too. One I have been crocheting for, for many years is Project Linus. This is a great organization.
http://www.projectlinus.org/index.shtml
I also just sent to Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota.
http://friendsofpineridgereservation.org/difference/craftforprr.shtml
It's so easy to crochet granny squares with left over yarn. And it doesn't take long and it's a nice break from afghans.
There is an organization providing blankets for the victims of the San Diego fires. I am making squares to contribute to that.
http://sandiegowildfireblankets.blogspot.com/
My motivation for all the charity work?? I am home. I don't do much in the evenings and it brings me great joy to create something and know that it may bring some comfort to someone in need. :) Plus I just like to crochet!!
I have made so many new afghans and learned so many new stitches too. There is a section on the board for Charity projects too. There is always a charity to give to, or someone needing squares for a comfortghan.
One of the first projects I donated to was sadly, the Virginia Tech killings. I made 33 granny squares for the project.
You can read more about it here, just scroll down a bit:
http://mosaicyarnshop.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html
There are other organizations too. One I have been crocheting for, for many years is Project Linus. This is a great organization.
http://www.projectlinus.org/index.shtml
I also just sent to Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota.
http://friendsofpineridgereservation.org/difference/craftforprr.shtml
It's so easy to crochet granny squares with left over yarn. And it doesn't take long and it's a nice break from afghans.
There is an organization providing blankets for the victims of the San Diego fires. I am making squares to contribute to that.
http://sandiegowildfireblankets.blogspot.com/
My motivation for all the charity work?? I am home. I don't do much in the evenings and it brings me great joy to create something and know that it may bring some comfort to someone in need. :) Plus I just like to crochet!!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Vacations, Visiting and reunions
We recently went to my husbands 20 year reunion at the Naval Academy. We had a good time. The weather was good too and my hubby saw people he hadn't seen in years. Plus there is reasonably good seafood out there. LOL. We also went to the football game and that was fun.
My little guy had fun at the hotels with swimming. And everytime there was a knock on a door, he would say "come in"!!!! I had to explain to him that it wasn't always our door.
I also have relatives still out there and we went to visit my cousin. It was sort of hard because it's where I used to visit my aunt and grandma every three months for 4 years. It was hard to stay in a hotel when I had always stayed with my aunt. My cousin offered to let us stay there but with the little guy I declined.
Then we were driving to the airport and there was so much that had changed in the 3 years since I had been there last. It was a tough drive.
I enjoyed visiting with my cousin though. We went through family pictures and I was able to take some home with me. The memories the pictures brought back--that is a happy memory.
My cousin told me I don't laugh as much as I used to. I think I do and I asked my husband and he confirmed that I still laugh!! I told my cousin that my aunt dying had sucked some of the joy out of my life. Because it did. I just miss her so very much still, almost four years later.
My little guy had fun at the hotels with swimming. And everytime there was a knock on a door, he would say "come in"!!!! I had to explain to him that it wasn't always our door.
I also have relatives still out there and we went to visit my cousin. It was sort of hard because it's where I used to visit my aunt and grandma every three months for 4 years. It was hard to stay in a hotel when I had always stayed with my aunt. My cousin offered to let us stay there but with the little guy I declined.
Then we were driving to the airport and there was so much that had changed in the 3 years since I had been there last. It was a tough drive.
I enjoyed visiting with my cousin though. We went through family pictures and I was able to take some home with me. The memories the pictures brought back--that is a happy memory.
My cousin told me I don't laugh as much as I used to. I think I do and I asked my husband and he confirmed that I still laugh!! I told my cousin that my aunt dying had sucked some of the joy out of my life. Because it did. I just miss her so very much still, almost four years later.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Seven Things again.........
This is a bag of winter gloves and hats. There are about 6 pair of gloves and 3 hats, and a headband.
I don't need them any more since I have plenty of gloves so they will go to family services. That means I have more room in the front hall bench. I also have another bag full of onlies. I'm not sure of what to do with those?
Do you have any suggestions?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
A Bible Study...
I am doing a bible study on the Lies Women believe.
Here is a list of the lies, and the TRUTH.
Lies Women Believe
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
THE LIE: God is not really good.
THE TRUTH:
God is good, and everything He does is good. God never makes mistakes.
THE LIE: God doesn’t love me.
THE TRUTH:
God’s love for me is infinite and unconditional. I don’t have to perform to earn God’s love or favor.
God always has my best interests at heart.
THE LIE: God is just like my father.
THE TRUTH:
God is exactly what He has revealed Himself to be in His Word.
God is infinitely more wise and loving than any earthly father could ever be.
THE LIE: God is not really enough.
THE TRUTH:
God is enough. If I have Him, I have all I need.
THE LIE: God’s ways are too restrictive.
THE TRUTH:
God’s ways are best.
God’s restrictions are always for my good.
Resisting or rebelling against God’s ways brings conflict and heartache.
THE LIE: God should fix my problems.
THE TRUTH:
Life is hard.
God is more concerned about glorifying Himself and changing me than about solving my problems.
God has an eternal purpose He is fulfilling in the midst of my problems.
God wants to use my problems as part of His sanctifying process in my life.
No matter what problem I am facing, God’s grace is sufficient for me.
THE LIE: I’m not worth anything.
THE TRUTH:
My value is not determined by what others think of me or what I think of myself. My value is determined by how God views me.
To God, my soul is worth more than the price of the whole world.
If I am a child of God, I am God’s cherished possession and treasure.
THE LIE: I need to learn to love myself.
THE TRUTH:
By faith, I need to receive God’s love for me.
I already love myself. I need to deny myself and let God love others through me.
THE LIE: I can’t help the way I am.
THE TRUTH:
If I am a child of God, I can choose to obey God.
I am responsible for my own choices.
I can be changed through the power of God’s Spirit.
THE LIE: I have my rights.
THE TRUTH:
Claiming rights will put me in bondage.
Yielding rights will set me free.
THE LIE: Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.
THE TRUTH:
At best, physical beauty is temporal and fleeting.
The beauty that matters most to God is that of my inner spirit and character.
THE LIE: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.
THE TRUTH:
I will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.
The deepest longings of my heart cannot be filled by any created person or thing.
If I will accept them, unfulfilled longings will increase my longing for God and for heaven.
THE LIE: I can sin and get away with it.
THE TRUTH:
The choices I make today will have consequences; I will reap what I sow.
Sin’s pleasures only last for a season.
Sin exacts a devastating toll. There are no exceptions.
If I play with fire, I will get burned. I will not escape the consequences of my sin.
THE LIE: My sin isn’t really that bad.
THE TRUTH:
Every act of sin is an act of rebellion against God.
No sin is small.
THE LIE: God can’t forgive what I have done.
THE TRUTH:
The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover any and every sin I have committed.
There is no sin too great for God to forgive.
God’s grace is greater than the greatest sin anyone could ever commit.
THE LIE: I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.
THE TRUTH:
God does not hold me accountable for the actions of others.
I am responsible for my own choices.
THE LIE: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
THE TRUTH:
If I am a child of God, I don’t have to sin.
I am not a slave to sin. Through Christ, I have been set free from sin.
By God’s grace and through the finished work of Christ on the cross, I can experience victory over sin.
THE LIE: I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do.
THE TRUTH:
There is time in every day to do everything that God wants me to do.
THE LIE: I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.
THE TRUTH:
It is impossible for me to be the woman God wants me to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the Word and prayer.
THE LIE: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
THE TRUTH:
In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.
God uniquely designed the woman to be a bearer and nurturer of life.
There is no greater measure of a woman’s worth or success than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home.
God’s plan is that a woman’s primary attention and efforts should be devoted to ministering to the needs of her husband and children.
THE LIE: I have to have a husband to be happy.
THE TRUTH:
Happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage.
There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God.
God has promised to provide everything I need. If He will receive more glory by my being married, then He will provide a husband for me.
Those who wait on the Lord always get His best. Those who insist on getting what they want often end up with heartache.
THE LIE: It is my responsibility to change my mate.
THE TRUTH:
A godly life and prayer are a wife’s two greatest means of influencing her husband’s life.
It is far more effective for a woman to appeal to the Lord to change her husband than to try to exert pressure on him directly.
THE LIE: My husband is supposed to serve me.
THE TRUTH:
If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed.
God made the woman to be a helper to the man.
We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
THE LIE: If I submit to my husband, I’ll be miserable.
THE TRUTH:
Submission places me under the covering and protection of God, who controls the “heart of the king.”
When I step out from under authority, I become vulnerable to the attacks of the Enemy.
My willingness to place myself under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how big I believe God really is.
Reverent submission is a wife’s greatest means of influencing a husband who is not walking with God.
A wife’s response to her husband’s authority should determine the way the church is to submit to the authority of the Lord Jesus.
THE LIE: If my husband is passive, I’ve got to take the initiative, or nothing will get done.
THE TRUTH:
God created the man to be an initiator and the woman to be a responder.
If a woman takes the reins rather than waiting on God to move her husband, her husband is likely to be less motivated to fulfill his God-given responsibility.
THE LIE: Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage.
THE TRUTH:
Marriage is a lifelong covenant that is intended to reflect the covenant-keeping heart of God. As He is faithful to His covenant, so we must be faithful to keep our marriage covenant.
There is no marriage God cannot heal. There is no person God cannot change.
God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ.
God’s grace is sufficient to enable you to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.
THE LIE: It’s up to us to determine the size of our family.
THE TRUTH:
God is the Creator and Giver of life.
Anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan’s schemes and aids in his efforts.
One of the purposes of marriage is to produce a “godly offspring.”
Childbearing is a basic, God-given role for women. Children are to be received as a blessing from God.
THE LIE: Children need to get exposed to the “real world” so that they can learn to function in it.
THE TRUTH:
Our task is not to raise up children who can fit into this world or merely survive it but to bring up children who will be used by God to change our world.
Like young, tender plants, children need to be protected from worldly influences until they are spiritually mature enough to withstand them.
The fear of the Lord and a vital, personal relationship with God are the best means of preparing children to withstand secular culture and to make a difference in our world.
THE LIE: All children will go through a rebellious stage.
THE TRUTH:
If parents expect their children to rebel, they increase the likelihood that they will do so.
God promises a blessing to parents who keep His covenant and who teach their children to do the same.
Parents cannot force their children to walk with God, but they can model godliness and cultivate a climate in the home that creates an appetite for God and is conducive to the spiritual nurture and growth of their children.
THE LIE: I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at an early age.
THE TRUTH:
Those who do not have a heart for God or any hunger for things of God and who have a consistent pattern of rejecting the Word and ways of God have no basis for assurance of salvation.
Parents who assume their children know the Lord, regardless of their lifestyle, may give their children a false sense of security and may not be praying appropriately for their children.
THE LIE: We are not responsible for how our children turn out.
THE TRUTH:
Parents have enormous influence in molding the lives of their children by their example, their teaching, and their leadership.
Each generation is responsible to pass on to the next the heritage of a heart that knows and walks with God.
Parents will give account to God for the spiritual condition of the lives He has entrusted to their care.
Each individual is responsible for his own walk and obedience. Regardless of what kind of parents he had, each person will give account to God for his own choices.
THE LIE: If I feel something, it must be true.
THE TRUTH:
My feelings cannot always be trusted. They often have little to do with reality and can easily deceive me into believing things that are not true.
I must choose to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth.
THE LIE: I can’t control my emotions.
THE TRUTH:
I do not have to be controlled by my emotions.
I can choose to fix my mind on the Truth, to take every thought captive to the Truth, and to let God control my emotions.
THE LIE: I can’t help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack. (It’s understandable to act like a shrew at certain times.)
THE TRUTH:
By God’s grace, I can choose to obey Him regardless of how I feel.
There is no excuse for ungodly attitudes, responses, or behavior.
My physical and emotional cycles and seasons are under the control of the One who made me, cares for me, and has made provision for each stage of my life.
THE LIE: The answer to depression must first be sought in medication and/or psychotherapy.
THE TRUTH:
Physical and emotional symptoms of depression may be the fruit of issues in the spirit that need to be addressed.
If my depression did not originate as a physical problem, medication will not permanently relieve my depression.
I do not have a right to feel good. Regardless of how I feel, I can choose to give thanks, to obey God, and to reach out to others.
God has given us powerful resources His grace, His Spirit, His Word, His promises, the body of Christ to minister to our emotional needs.
THE LIE: If my circumstances were different, I would be different.
THE TRUTH:
My circumstances do not make me what I am; they merely reveal what I am.
If I am not content with my present circumstances, I am not likely to be happy in any other set of circumstances.
I may not be able to control my circumstances, but my circumstances do not have to control me.
Every circumstance that touches my life has first been filtered through His fingers of love.
THE LIE: I shouldn’t have to suffer.
THE TRUTH:
It is impossible to be holy apart from suffering. There is a redemptive fruit that cannot be produced in our lives apart from suffering.
We have been called to suffer.
True joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.
Suffering is a pathway to sanctification, a doorway into greater intimacy with God.
THE LIE: My circumstances will never change this will go on forever.
THE TRUTH:
My suffering may last a long time, but it will not last forever.
My painful circumstances will not last one moment longer than God knows is necessary to achieve His eternal purposes in and through my life.
One day, all pain, suffering, and tears will be removed forever.
THE LIE: I just can’t take any more.
THE TRUTH:
Whatever my circumstance, whatever my situation, His grace is sufficient for me.
God will never place more on me than He will give me grace to bear.
THE LIE: It’s all about me.
THE TRUTH:
God is the beginning and ending and center of all things. All things were created by Him and for Him. It’s all about Him!
My life is dispensable. I was created for His pleasure and glory.
Here is a list of the lies, and the TRUTH.
Lies Women Believe
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
THE LIE: God is not really good.
THE TRUTH:
God is good, and everything He does is good. God never makes mistakes.
THE LIE: God doesn’t love me.
THE TRUTH:
God’s love for me is infinite and unconditional. I don’t have to perform to earn God’s love or favor.
God always has my best interests at heart.
THE LIE: God is just like my father.
THE TRUTH:
God is exactly what He has revealed Himself to be in His Word.
God is infinitely more wise and loving than any earthly father could ever be.
THE LIE: God is not really enough.
THE TRUTH:
God is enough. If I have Him, I have all I need.
THE LIE: God’s ways are too restrictive.
THE TRUTH:
God’s ways are best.
God’s restrictions are always for my good.
Resisting or rebelling against God’s ways brings conflict and heartache.
THE LIE: God should fix my problems.
THE TRUTH:
Life is hard.
God is more concerned about glorifying Himself and changing me than about solving my problems.
God has an eternal purpose He is fulfilling in the midst of my problems.
God wants to use my problems as part of His sanctifying process in my life.
No matter what problem I am facing, God’s grace is sufficient for me.
THE LIE: I’m not worth anything.
THE TRUTH:
My value is not determined by what others think of me or what I think of myself. My value is determined by how God views me.
To God, my soul is worth more than the price of the whole world.
If I am a child of God, I am God’s cherished possession and treasure.
THE LIE: I need to learn to love myself.
THE TRUTH:
By faith, I need to receive God’s love for me.
I already love myself. I need to deny myself and let God love others through me.
THE LIE: I can’t help the way I am.
THE TRUTH:
If I am a child of God, I can choose to obey God.
I am responsible for my own choices.
I can be changed through the power of God’s Spirit.
THE LIE: I have my rights.
THE TRUTH:
Claiming rights will put me in bondage.
Yielding rights will set me free.
THE LIE: Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.
THE TRUTH:
At best, physical beauty is temporal and fleeting.
The beauty that matters most to God is that of my inner spirit and character.
THE LIE: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.
THE TRUTH:
I will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.
The deepest longings of my heart cannot be filled by any created person or thing.
If I will accept them, unfulfilled longings will increase my longing for God and for heaven.
THE LIE: I can sin and get away with it.
THE TRUTH:
The choices I make today will have consequences; I will reap what I sow.
Sin’s pleasures only last for a season.
Sin exacts a devastating toll. There are no exceptions.
If I play with fire, I will get burned. I will not escape the consequences of my sin.
THE LIE: My sin isn’t really that bad.
THE TRUTH:
Every act of sin is an act of rebellion against God.
No sin is small.
THE LIE: God can’t forgive what I have done.
THE TRUTH:
The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover any and every sin I have committed.
There is no sin too great for God to forgive.
God’s grace is greater than the greatest sin anyone could ever commit.
THE LIE: I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.
THE TRUTH:
God does not hold me accountable for the actions of others.
I am responsible for my own choices.
THE LIE: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
THE TRUTH:
If I am a child of God, I don’t have to sin.
I am not a slave to sin. Through Christ, I have been set free from sin.
By God’s grace and through the finished work of Christ on the cross, I can experience victory over sin.
THE LIE: I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do.
THE TRUTH:
There is time in every day to do everything that God wants me to do.
THE LIE: I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.
THE TRUTH:
It is impossible for me to be the woman God wants me to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the Word and prayer.
THE LIE: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
THE TRUTH:
In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.
God uniquely designed the woman to be a bearer and nurturer of life.
There is no greater measure of a woman’s worth or success than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home.
God’s plan is that a woman’s primary attention and efforts should be devoted to ministering to the needs of her husband and children.
THE LIE: I have to have a husband to be happy.
THE TRUTH:
Happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage.
There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God.
God has promised to provide everything I need. If He will receive more glory by my being married, then He will provide a husband for me.
Those who wait on the Lord always get His best. Those who insist on getting what they want often end up with heartache.
THE LIE: It is my responsibility to change my mate.
THE TRUTH:
A godly life and prayer are a wife’s two greatest means of influencing her husband’s life.
It is far more effective for a woman to appeal to the Lord to change her husband than to try to exert pressure on him directly.
THE LIE: My husband is supposed to serve me.
THE TRUTH:
If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed.
God made the woman to be a helper to the man.
We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
THE LIE: If I submit to my husband, I’ll be miserable.
THE TRUTH:
Submission places me under the covering and protection of God, who controls the “heart of the king.”
When I step out from under authority, I become vulnerable to the attacks of the Enemy.
My willingness to place myself under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how big I believe God really is.
Reverent submission is a wife’s greatest means of influencing a husband who is not walking with God.
A wife’s response to her husband’s authority should determine the way the church is to submit to the authority of the Lord Jesus.
THE LIE: If my husband is passive, I’ve got to take the initiative, or nothing will get done.
THE TRUTH:
God created the man to be an initiator and the woman to be a responder.
If a woman takes the reins rather than waiting on God to move her husband, her husband is likely to be less motivated to fulfill his God-given responsibility.
THE LIE: Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage.
THE TRUTH:
Marriage is a lifelong covenant that is intended to reflect the covenant-keeping heart of God. As He is faithful to His covenant, so we must be faithful to keep our marriage covenant.
There is no marriage God cannot heal. There is no person God cannot change.
God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ.
God’s grace is sufficient to enable you to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.
THE LIE: It’s up to us to determine the size of our family.
THE TRUTH:
God is the Creator and Giver of life.
Anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan’s schemes and aids in his efforts.
One of the purposes of marriage is to produce a “godly offspring.”
Childbearing is a basic, God-given role for women. Children are to be received as a blessing from God.
THE LIE: Children need to get exposed to the “real world” so that they can learn to function in it.
THE TRUTH:
Our task is not to raise up children who can fit into this world or merely survive it but to bring up children who will be used by God to change our world.
Like young, tender plants, children need to be protected from worldly influences until they are spiritually mature enough to withstand them.
The fear of the Lord and a vital, personal relationship with God are the best means of preparing children to withstand secular culture and to make a difference in our world.
THE LIE: All children will go through a rebellious stage.
THE TRUTH:
If parents expect their children to rebel, they increase the likelihood that they will do so.
God promises a blessing to parents who keep His covenant and who teach their children to do the same.
Parents cannot force their children to walk with God, but they can model godliness and cultivate a climate in the home that creates an appetite for God and is conducive to the spiritual nurture and growth of their children.
THE LIE: I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at an early age.
THE TRUTH:
Those who do not have a heart for God or any hunger for things of God and who have a consistent pattern of rejecting the Word and ways of God have no basis for assurance of salvation.
Parents who assume their children know the Lord, regardless of their lifestyle, may give their children a false sense of security and may not be praying appropriately for their children.
THE LIE: We are not responsible for how our children turn out.
THE TRUTH:
Parents have enormous influence in molding the lives of their children by their example, their teaching, and their leadership.
Each generation is responsible to pass on to the next the heritage of a heart that knows and walks with God.
Parents will give account to God for the spiritual condition of the lives He has entrusted to their care.
Each individual is responsible for his own walk and obedience. Regardless of what kind of parents he had, each person will give account to God for his own choices.
THE LIE: If I feel something, it must be true.
THE TRUTH:
My feelings cannot always be trusted. They often have little to do with reality and can easily deceive me into believing things that are not true.
I must choose to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth.
THE LIE: I can’t control my emotions.
THE TRUTH:
I do not have to be controlled by my emotions.
I can choose to fix my mind on the Truth, to take every thought captive to the Truth, and to let God control my emotions.
THE LIE: I can’t help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack. (It’s understandable to act like a shrew at certain times.)
THE TRUTH:
By God’s grace, I can choose to obey Him regardless of how I feel.
There is no excuse for ungodly attitudes, responses, or behavior.
My physical and emotional cycles and seasons are under the control of the One who made me, cares for me, and has made provision for each stage of my life.
THE LIE: The answer to depression must first be sought in medication and/or psychotherapy.
THE TRUTH:
Physical and emotional symptoms of depression may be the fruit of issues in the spirit that need to be addressed.
If my depression did not originate as a physical problem, medication will not permanently relieve my depression.
I do not have a right to feel good. Regardless of how I feel, I can choose to give thanks, to obey God, and to reach out to others.
God has given us powerful resources His grace, His Spirit, His Word, His promises, the body of Christ to minister to our emotional needs.
THE LIE: If my circumstances were different, I would be different.
THE TRUTH:
My circumstances do not make me what I am; they merely reveal what I am.
If I am not content with my present circumstances, I am not likely to be happy in any other set of circumstances.
I may not be able to control my circumstances, but my circumstances do not have to control me.
Every circumstance that touches my life has first been filtered through His fingers of love.
THE LIE: I shouldn’t have to suffer.
THE TRUTH:
It is impossible to be holy apart from suffering. There is a redemptive fruit that cannot be produced in our lives apart from suffering.
We have been called to suffer.
True joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.
Suffering is a pathway to sanctification, a doorway into greater intimacy with God.
THE LIE: My circumstances will never change this will go on forever.
THE TRUTH:
My suffering may last a long time, but it will not last forever.
My painful circumstances will not last one moment longer than God knows is necessary to achieve His eternal purposes in and through my life.
One day, all pain, suffering, and tears will be removed forever.
THE LIE: I just can’t take any more.
THE TRUTH:
Whatever my circumstance, whatever my situation, His grace is sufficient for me.
God will never place more on me than He will give me grace to bear.
THE LIE: It’s all about me.
THE TRUTH:
God is the beginning and ending and center of all things. All things were created by Him and for Him. It’s all about Him!
My life is dispensable. I was created for His pleasure and glory.
Seven Things--sort of
Ahhh, curbside recycling. It's great.
Today my husband is cleaning out the garage. He put THREE headboards and bed frames out to the curb. One headboard was from my youth, my daughter also used it. One is a log headboard and one is a bookcase headboard that daughter also used. We have no use for them anymore so maybe someone else can find them useful.
Husband also put the crib on Craigslist. We tried to find a home for it to no avail so maybe we can sell it. I am sad about the crib going but it is time now.
I also gave daughter two books and three couch pillows. The pillows I bought at Ikea. They were too big for what I needed them for and daughter can use them. My MIL made us some of the right size pillows.
And, I sent another book to a woman who can use it now! I have a space or two free on my bookshelf now!!
So, The seven things project is still sort of alive in my house.
I also have a bag of nursing pajama's and bras to give to family services. I might do that tomorrow with all my other errands!!
ETA--the headboards all went to a new home!! And I dropped off the nursing jammies and bras at family services in my little city.
Today my husband is cleaning out the garage. He put THREE headboards and bed frames out to the curb. One headboard was from my youth, my daughter also used it. One is a log headboard and one is a bookcase headboard that daughter also used. We have no use for them anymore so maybe someone else can find them useful.
Husband also put the crib on Craigslist. We tried to find a home for it to no avail so maybe we can sell it. I am sad about the crib going but it is time now.
I also gave daughter two books and three couch pillows. The pillows I bought at Ikea. They were too big for what I needed them for and daughter can use them. My MIL made us some of the right size pillows.
And, I sent another book to a woman who can use it now! I have a space or two free on my bookshelf now!!
So, The seven things project is still sort of alive in my house.
I also have a bag of nursing pajama's and bras to give to family services. I might do that tomorrow with all my other errands!!
ETA--the headboards all went to a new home!! And I dropped off the nursing jammies and bras at family services in my little city.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
